White Queen

To Breathe and to Forgive

"Elsa, come closer."

Hesitation filled her to the brim, heart pounding against her chest, fingers twitching at either side of her as she remained standing in her place, blue eyes wide as she tried to peer forward, to where two figures stood over a lone crib by the triangular window, the warmth of summer streaming through the glass.

"Come meet her."

A step, then another, was taken cautiously as the little girl inched forward, until her fingers came to hold the edge of the crib, standing on the tips of her toes to look inside curiously, dressed in blue as both parents rested their hands on her back.

"Come and see my sister."

The girl had turned her head to look over her shoulder, right at her still figure, with a bright proud smile on her face that was framed with strands of platinum blonde hair that had escaped from the braid she had. Her cheeks were rosy, full and tightly pulled by the wide smile, dimpled. Her hand was reached out for her to take, welcoming, urging her to come close. She walked forward, heels clicking against the wooden flooring, and yet when her fingers had merely touched the crib, had not even gotten the chance to look inside and see the babe, her surrounding had swirled and changed.

The King and Queen stood by the door, with a smile that did not reach their eyes, hands clasped behind their backs as they looked at her. They were just like how she had remembered them, of how they looked right before they depart on their journey, even dressed the same, and yet there was something different about them too. Had she never noticed it before, of the lines at the corners of her mother's eyes, or of the grey in her father's hair? They looked... tired, weary as if they had not rested well, old.

"Breathe, Elsa." Her Father had spoken then, in a tone meant to calm her, to reassure her that whatever it had been weighted her down would soon disappear, and she complied. Taking a deep breath, she slowly released the air in her lungs. "Just breathe."

"Come here, my poor child." Her Mother's arms were opened for her, welcoming, unafraid of what she could do, and instead of refusing, to avoid making any sort of contact, she had approached them, to let arms wrapped around her in a warm embrace she had not felt for years that made her body shook, feeling her Mother's loving hand at the back of her head, holding on, comforting her as a sob escaped her trembling lips. "There, there."

Her legs buckled from the weight of her emotions that had bottled up within her, and when she had succumb under it, her parents had followed, had lowered themselves down with her until all sat on the floor, embrace never leaving her as she buried her face on her Mother's shoulder.

"Be strong, my darling."

"We are proud of you."

"We are sorry, for everything we had done to you, Elsa."

Their words wrecked her heart, and yet she didn't feel like suffocating, there was no fingers holding onto her beating heart and squeezed, there was air in her lungs, and there was no darkness that lurked around the corner that would pull her down until she slipped into nothingness.

She cried.

Tears flowing freely from her eyes, sobs wrecking through her chest, hands trembling as her parents remained holding her, keeping her intact and to keep her away from breaking apart. They stayed still until her cry died down into nothing but a sniffle, when tears had no longer pool in her eyes and when her breathing had slowed down.

"Care for your child, make sure it knows how much it is loved, don't make the same mistake that we did."

When her eyes opened, she was met with the sleeping face of her sister by her side in such darkened room and her blanket over her body to warm herself up in the night. Her eyes stung and the pillow beneath her head damped with her tears, but her lips had tugged into a small smile. She felt at peace, even when not completely, but there was a certain burden that had been lifted off her shoulders as she reached forward and touched her sister's cheek, making the younger hummed from the cold skin as she snuggled deeper into her own pillow.

All she needed was to breathe.

--

It was faint, but she could feel it.

The marketplace down below was not as crowded as it usually been, there was barely any laughter coming from children running around while their parents do their business amongst themselves, instead people had looked cautious, had only come out of the safety of their homes if it was completely necessary, kids were told to stay inside at all times should something was to happen.

The gloom that had come from the moment after they were told to retreat back into their homes before the navy and the guards came marching from the castle and down to the docks, with the Queen overlooking from a balcony up above, had drained the colors of peaceful Arendelle as people had witness of how serious the situation could be as they given their utmost trust to the uniformed men over their safety and of their kingdom.

It had been the ninth day that Hans had been away, and throughout those days she had slept in Anna's bedchamber each night while the Queen's remained untouched unless she was to take a short nap, for she had found a certain comfort in talking with her younger sister in the late night as both laid in bed under the covers; from catching up with the memories of their separated childhood –the mischiefs that the Princess had been involved in during her youth and the more boring ones that the Queen went through, of the things they missed in doing together, and even over the portraits that Anna had taken more liking to.

"We should have a family portrait once the baby is born."

One that they would hang in the gallery by the one that was painted years ago, when both girls were merely children, with Elsa standing with just the smallest of smile while the younger Anna –sitting on their mother's lap, could not help but having such wide smile. It was probably the most prized one for the two of them, for they could see the late King and Queen not by their title but as their parents.

The platinum blonde haired Queen had smiled warmly at the suggestion, promising that they should indeed.

The vibration that she felt as she sat at her desk had made her hand paused, a droplet of ink falling from the tip of her quill as she looked over toward her window, brows furrowing as she was pulled away from her train of thoughts. Placing her feather quill back into the bottle of ink, she had stood up, making her way to stand by the triangular window, eyes narrowing as she looked over to the ocean far near the horizon.

A cannon had been fired.

The pirates refused to leave then.

Turning around, she come to face the looks that her ladies-in-waiting had as they stood frozen in place with bated breath, their initial activities paused as all awaited for her to speak of what had just happened, of the course of action that she was to take and the order for them to do. "Warn the others." Some people might not have felt it, of the vibration in the air, and she would not have anyone be oblivious about it. "Have the guards warn the people to return back to their houses." If they could help it, she would push the number of casualty to the bare minimum, there was no life to be lost in vain.

Once they had left to carry out her orders, she let out a breath as she lowered herself onto the cushions by the window, running her fingers through her bangs as she brush it away from her face. Looking back out, she placed a hand over the glass, feeling the faint layer of frost under her touch beginning to form.

"Return safely, my Admiral."