queen || nct's 22nd member

The truth is...

"Ana, I gotta tell you something."

"Whoa, no Noona?! Seems to be something serious, shoot."

"I-", Jaehyun was about to back out. He couldn't tell her and ruin their friendship. But he had to be truthful to her, it was the least he could do.

"Look, if my reaction made you insecure, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna laugh at you Jaehyun-ah. You can tell me everything and if you need more time to open up, that is fine." Ana put her arm around Jaehyuns shoulder, a bit of a struggle, but she managed.

"No, I really want to tell you now! Because I think I'll back out if I don't do it." Jaehyun took a deep breath, he couldn't back out now. Pulling her arm from his shoulder, he turned himself so he stood in front of Ana, looking into her eyes. "I- Oh damn it, why is this so hard?!"

"Hey, calm down everything is going to be ok-"

"No, it won't be okay!" Jaehyun almost shouted, making Ana flinch a bit in surprise. Putting his hand on her shoulder, he repeated it again, this time calmer."It won't be okay, not after I told you."

Ana tried to comprehend what the younger one said. Hoping that he wasn't going to tell her, what she feared the most. Hoping with all her might, that all the signs she had seen were wrong.

"I really, really didn't want this to happen." Jaehyun mumbled, eyes a bit glassy as he confessed. "I didn't want to fall in love with you."

"Oh fuck"

"Ana I confess my feelings, not sure if you will ever look at me the same. And your answer is 'oh fuck'?!" It hurt, half because he already knew that she didn't feel the same and half because her only answer was cursing. A small tear ran down his cheek, making him feel even worse in this situation.

"No, no, no." Ana mumbled, putting her hand on his cheek to wipe the tear away. Deciding that nothing good would come out of her mouth at the moment, she pulled the taller boy in for a hug.

Like this they stood there, on path next to the river. Ana's arms draped around Jaehyun's torso and his arms around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled into his chest after sometime. Not ending the hug but leaning back a bit with her head to see the taller one's face.

Jaehyun just nodded, what else could he do? The feelings had taken a long time to develop and it wasn't like he didn't try to avoid them or stop them. Oh how many times had he tried to avoid the girl to stop falling for her.

"I wish, I could tell you, that this could work out, but it never will Jaehyun. Not because we're idols or other members. I will never be able to see anything else than a brother, a companion in you. I will never be able to feel this kind of romantic attraction for you. I'm sorry, that I have to break your heart like this, I really am." She started to cry. It pained her so much to know, that he would feel pain, the same pain she had felt once.

"Shh, I- it's fine, you can't change the fact that you don't have feelings for me." Jaehyun also started to cry, the tears that he had tried to stop before, now just rolled down his cheeks. Now both of them were sobbing, Jaehyun had crouched down a bit so he could hide his face in Ana's hair. The girl just patted his lower back.

"Jaehyun, it's not just not having feelings for you." Ana mumbled into his pullover. Then she pulled out of the embrace. "Jaehyun, I'm gay for cryings sake. I will never feel romantic attraction towards you or any boy for that matter."

"Oh fuck"

"By the pink slippers of the pantheon, don't copy me."

"The press have found us queen."

"Oh fuck, are they close enough to have heard what you or I just said?"

"No they weren't, but you know how they are."

Ana just nodded. Hell, in one of the worst moments of their entire friendship, the press had to find them. At least now she had a reason to run.

"Let's get away from here." She mumbled, pulling the boy with her, away form the press and to the city. Leaving like this made both of them nervous, they had not finished talking and both of them dreaded to start the conversation again.

"Where are we going?"

"To my old apartment."

"You still have it?"

"I guess I knew that I would need it later."

"Only you."

"I know." Ana didn't even look if the street lights were green. Running over the street, Jaehyun always on her trail, she entered the maze of the the city. Taking as much time as she could afford to give the press, if they followed, a wrong trail.

"This was so stupid from us."

"You say it." The girl fumbled out a key of the door to the complex. She hated this rushed situation.

"I'm sorry. I dumped my feelings on you and you outed you romantic and sexual orientation because of that. I didn't want you to feel any kind of pressure in this conversation. I'm sorry." Jaehyun paused, his heart had been broken, his love interest and close friend turned out to be gay. This evening turned out a mess and he felt very much like it was his fault.

"Stop right there Jaehyun. If someone should be sorry than me. I am the one who trampled on your feelings and then lets a bomb go up. But we have to talk this out, I don't want to lose you as a friend because of this." Ana had turned around on the staircase to look at Jaehyuns face. Then she took the last few steps to the door to open it.

"You won't. Hell Ana, I knew that you didn't like me. Because I always thought that you had a interest in Johnny... I guess I was wrong."

Ana stopped in her tracks, did she hear that right? Jaehyun thought, she had an interest in Johnny? Hell no. Actually, she didn't have any interest in boys, so hell no in general. Without an eww, because Ana saw the appeal in this whole thing, obviously. The boys had good looks, nice characters and were very much boyfriend material.

"No. Just no! And I hope that you were the only one, otherwise Ten will have my head on a stake."

"Nah, I think he knows that Johnny is a damn flirt."

"You name it. After you."

"Woah, this place looks amazing." Jaehyun looked around with big eyes, the apartment was rather big and spacious. He really wondered how she had been able to pay rent for this place, while being a trainee and a stylist.

"Thanks."

"What will happen now?"

"I don't know Jae, I really don't know. They'll probably say I'm dating you or something like that. I'm more bothered with what will happen between us." Ana ran her fingers through her hair. What to do now?

"I only wanted to tell you, because I saw it as my duty as a friend to be truthful with you. I started to avoid you after noticing my feelings, it didn't work. Obviously. But it won't stop me from trying to be the friend I was to you before I told you. Even if it hurts." Jaehyun didn't notice that tears started to run down his cheeks again. He didn't notice that Ana came closer so she could hug him.

Jaehyun only thought about one thing, could this even work?