girl crush [ idols x idol!oc ]

girl crush [ twenty ]

my fingers kept trembling as we waited for our stage. we were gonna perform our collab with ikon in a few seconds, but saying that i am nervous is an understatement. i really was. like, really really nervous.

"are you sure you're fine?" asked one of the staff, but i just nodded my head even though i knew that it was all a lie.

my heart was thumping rather hard, and my breathing was all over the place. i didn't know if i was ever gonna do fine on the stage. i'm also pretty scared about what the people might think. what if they hate our choreography? what if they don't appreciate what donghyuk and i have made, the choreo, and say that it's actually really lame?

the girls and I haven't talked quite often ever since that day after i slept at the ikon dorm either, and I wasn't sure if we're gonna stay in sync on the stage. as the main dancer of our group, i feel really pressured about our performance so much.

"we're gonna do great. stop sweating about it and get over it," said minsoo unnie, not looking at me. i know it was directly said to me or about me, anyway.

my hands feel cold, and i can feel my head become lighter with each passing second, but i kept breathing. we're gonna have to do this, now or never.

"ikon and azes, on the stage, now," said an organizer, as the music started playing.

we could hear the cheers, as we all started doing our parts of the dance and singing our own lines. many were waving their lightstick, but something that caught my eye made me stop doing whatever i was doing on stage for a split second.

there was a banner there that says... i didn't deserve to be in azes.

i felt my eyes water as i tried to ignore it, and as we were almost on the chorus part which meant donghyuk and i should be near each other now, my head felt lighter. and the last thing i knew, my vision blacked out.

"she's gonna have to take a hiatus, after this. who knew she was anemic?"

"w-we didn't know,"

"we didn't know and the company kept stressing her about doing things and about packing her schedule for almost 24 hours a day. she barely gets any rest among the five of them,"

"but what about her stage with her collaborations?"

i started to move my fingers, not wanting to hear whatever they wanted to say, whoever they were. why were they talking about me like they were all so worried all of a sudden? what was wrong with them?

once i fully opened my eyes, i was met with a group hug from my members immediately, making me hug them back. what is it, now?

"you collapsed on stage, everything was a mess. donghyuk carried you from the stage to the ambulance outside the venue," said aina unnie. "why didn't you tell us you're anemic? we could have bought you some medicine for iron deficiency or something, and not let the staff pack your schedule as much as it have been the last few months."

"it's okay, i'm okay, no one needs to worry about anything, it's not even a big deal to me," i answered, but then i heard someone clear their throat. i blinked, as i saw our manager standing there with a stern look across his face.

"it's a big deal, it concerns your health. i talked with other staffs and they gave me message from the ceo. you're having a  hiatus, due to health issues. it's already posted online and fans were okay about it. you don't have to do anything else, but try to get stronger and get your health to become better in the next month." manager said, making me sigh and look away. I didn't look like i had a choice, but i was passionate about my album, so i have to fight for it.

"but i have to perform the songs, i have to be on stage, what about the collaborations, and the performances? the practiced i might be missing?" i asked, causing our manager to shake his head.

"i know you're stubborn, but that's not gonna help you this time. this is a serious matter," he says, making me roll my eyes and sigh.

"but i want to perform," i said, making him click his tongue.

"say another complaint and i'll release a statement saying that your hiatus is extended to two months instead of a month. plus, you're really underweight. you should gain some weight and exercise, so it will turn to muscle and not fat," our manager said, but i wasn't paying that much attention.

a month without any activities? will i really survive that?