girl crush [ idols x idol!oc ]

girl crush [ thirty nine ]

"what's happening to you, sooji? you're a yg artist! what are you doing to your career?!" said ceo, and i only looked at him blankly.

to be honest, i had no care about me being a yg artist anymore. i have to admit to myself, i'm not find. being in yg is probably gonna ruin me even more, emotionally.

"ceo, i'm sorry. but i don't think i'm alright with my current condition right now," i muttered, and then yg ceo looked at me as if i was going crazy.

"what are you saying? what are you saying that you're not alright with your current condition? what about donghyuk, too? aren't you both supposed to raise yg's sales? what are you two doing?! why are you-"

"ceo, i want to terminate my contract with yg entertainment. i want to end everything here," i said, and then he widened his eyes.

"what do you mean?! you... sooji-ah, i'm sorry. is it because of how i manage you as an artist? i'm sorry, sooji. i... you can tell the media that you and donghyuk broke up. don't leave yg, sooji. you are family-"

"i want to leave yg, ceo. it's the best for my mental health and for everyone. fans have been turning against azes too, so for the girls, i will leave as well," i said, and then, he laughed.

he fucking laughed! not the humourous laugh, but the type of laugh that you suddenly get chills down your spine.

"fine, go leave yg, choi sooji! azes will be continuing without you. as of now, i will now hold no responsibility about you. we will release statements soon that you and donghyuk also broke up. for now, take all your things from your dorm after we sign," ceo said, and i blinked.

he... he agreed. it's not like i didn't want this, right? sooji, be firm! you wanted to go against yg! remember?

i then signed the paper he was signing earlier, signifying that our contract will be terminated. it will just be passed, and everything will be done. everything...

he dismissed me, and i walked there aimlessly, not knowing what's gonna happen to me. as i passed the halls of yg entertainment's building, i could remember our endless memories here including our trainee days.

goodbye, yg.

goodbye, azes.

goodbye, aina-unnie, minsoo-unnie, jaemin-unnie, hanbyun.

goodbye, azes.

as i neared the exit, i knew one thing.

i might have terminated my contract with yg, but i won't give up my dream. i can still pursue my dream of being an artist, right?

"sooji," called someone, and i suddenly turned my head to see donghyuk.

"hey, dong... donghyuk," i greeted, trying to smile, but he sighed and then shook his head before jogging towards me.

"where are you going?" he asked, and then i pointed outside.

"out... outside. i have to go, dk. goodbye," i said, and then he sighed.

"okay. goodbye. take care," he said, and then the jogged away again after giving me a smile.

he probably doesn't know. he probably doesn't know yet.

as i exited yg's building, i could only think about how i will continue my life after this.

"yah! sooji-ah! what do you mean you're leaving?! you're... oh, my god. you weren't alright, were you? that's why you... oh, my god. sooji, you should have told us!" said aina unnie, but i only gave  her a smile.

"unnie, thank you for everything. for all of you. thank you so much. i enjoyed those times i spent with you. please strive to be korea's aces," i monotonously said, as i held my luggage with me.

it had everything i had, my clothes, everything. except from the fans' gifts, because i left them inside the dorm where we kept all of them together.

"CHOI SOOJI! IF THIS IS A PRANK, I'M NOT FORGIVING YOU!" said jaemin unnie, but i only shook my head.

"i'm not kidding, unnie. i'm really leaving." i said, and then i saw how they all teared up.

suddenly, they enveloped me in a hug. even hanbyun who was mostly silent hugged me as tight as she could, with tears in her eyes. i could feel my eyes sting as well, but i didn't let my tears fall.

"sooji, will you... will you still remember us?" asked minsoo unnie, and i gave her a smile before nodding.

"of course, unnie. you were all one of the greatest part of my life." i said, and then they all held my hand as if trying not to let me go.

"sooji, please don't leave. seriously. we're a team, remember?" aina unnie said, and i smiled sadly at her.

"i'm emotionally exhausted here, unnie. yg has been torturing me emotionally a lot lately, including the fake dating news with donghyuk and not defending me against the haters. it's still my dream to be an idol. i'm just... i need to part ways with yg or it will ruin me," i admitted, and then they all hugged me again before they let me go.

as i bid them my last goodbye, i walked away from the dorm.

i want a new start.

sitting down on a bench near the abandoned playground, i stared at the stars. with a small and sad smile across my face, i reminisced my memories that i will finally let go soon.

"followed your heart?"

"i followed my heart, hyojong oppa. i hope it leads me to where i might feel most safe,"