girl crush [ idols x idol!oc ]

girl crush [ forty seven ]

my eyes hurt so much from all the crying. last night, i dreamt about everything that has happened to me in the past few months, including leaving azes. but the thing that made me cry was about azes, telling me that i was ungrateful because i left the group. that didn't really happen but somehow, that scene was in my dream. i was starting to think, did the girls think that way?

"soo, you're still crying?" asked dahyun, as she and i met up in the little cafe that we discovered a few months back. as an answer, i gave her a smile first.

"i mean, i can't help it dahyun. even with eunwoo's words. i'm starting to think about stuff again. i mean, sure, taeyong is beside me and is willing to stay, but i can't imagine that eunwoo would actually say those words to me," i explained, and then she shook her head before replying.

"you know he doesn't mean what he said, right?" dahyun asked me, and i furrowed my brows.

"what do you mean he doesn't mean what he told me? he admitted it to me, dahyun. and it came straight from his lips," i replied, making her sigh before placing her hand on my arm.

"we don't always say what we really mean, soo. have you tried asking him again?" asked dahyun, and i shook my head.

"no, and i don't want to. dahyun, you see, no matter how he can tell me he means the opposite now, he can't really erase in my memories those words that he told me. it will be here in my memory, rotting only on the day i'll die. it won't be the same, you know that," i said. i saw her pout before leaning back on her seat.

"you guys looked so great, too. such a shame he had such a potty mouth that day. i wish he never told you those words," dahyun said, and i sighed.

"it already happened, dahyun. we can't change it," i said, and then she nodded.

"i guess," she replied.

as i sipped my coffee, my eyes widened when i saw felix walking inside the cafe. i was torn between trying to get his attention or just sitting here and wait for him to notice me, but while i was thinking, he already caught sight of dahyun and i.

"hey! noona, congratulations on your redebut!" said felix, and i smiled at him before bowing.

"thanks. by the way, what's up?" i asked, and then he chuckled before answering.

"pretty busy. by the way, dahyun noona, i crossed paths with tzuyu noona. she was looking for you, i think. she kept muttering i need to find that idiot dubu. you're dubu dubu dahyunie, right?" said felix, making us three cringe on what he called her.

"ugh. fine. soo, i'm leaving. catch up again soon. okay?" dahyun said, standing up. i then smiled at her before nodding.

"sure." 

now already standing up, felix stopped me which surprised me since i thought that he was going to order already. looking at him with furrowed brows, i asked him what he wanted.

"i crossed paths with minsoo noona. she asked me about you. when i told her to contact you, she shook her head no. did you girls have a fight or something?" felix asked, and i widened my eyes. huh? but, we didn't. why doesn't she wanna talk to me? did i do something wrong?

"really? uhm, we didn't actually have a fight. but we haven't talked since i left the dorms," i replied, and then felix slowly nodded before letting go of my wrist.

"i really think you should talk to them, still. although you have red velvet beside you since they're your first sisters, but... it's not bad if you wanna stay friends with azes," said felix, and i smiled before nodding.

"yeah. you're right,"

i should probably try and talk to them.