My One Shots

Roller-coaster

“Look!” With that reaching her shining, beautiful eyes, she smiled at the little teddy in front of her and on the toy shop.

I smiled at her, “It's beautiful.” No it isn't, you are beautiful when you have this spark in your eyes. I had to lie it's beautiful.

Something was beautiful about the whole thing. I could feel it with the way her smile made me feel.

People say men are like children; they always need a lady beside them, caring for them like a mother, loving them like an unconditional soulmate, and supporting them like a bestfriend. It was the exact opposite in my case.

“Ahsan!” It was a very familiar voice that took me aback, to where i physically was.

“Oh. Yeah. What?” I mentally facepalmed at my own reaction. What just, Mr. Caretaker? Oh, right. Mr. “Caretaker.”

“You're here or what?” She frowned at me, innocently. I'm not. Not here. What the heck?

“I hate how i zone out in the middle of a crowd.” I mumbled to myself.

“Did you say something?” I earned yet another innocent look from her.

“Nuh - no.” After she got that teddy to decorate in our room, i said. “Let's just move on?”

“Yes!” She looked at me with that excitement in her eyes.

“So, what's next?” I had absolutely no clue what was next because with her, even the very minor things were unpredictable. Always.

“A roller-coaster!” Shit. It was hard to resist the look on her face when it reflected the most excitement i'd ever possibly seen. And literally like that, i was freaked out. I feared heightened & messy rides, roller-coasters to be specific.

Shit.

Brace yourself when you're around her, you never know what's next. Shit.

“Hey, look at that haunted house. Why don't we just go and get a ticket for that one?”

She facepalmed, “You're dumb, aren't you?”

“What, why?” I stared at her, confusion clear in my gaze.

“You do know i fear ghosts and haunted houses, don't you?”

“You do know i fear roller-coasters, don't you?” I mumbled under my breath. I wished i could smack myself on the back of my head in that instance but i couldn't. Why are you so dumb, Mr. Man Of The House?

But she didn't seem to listen to my mumbles, so i continued, “Listen, i just need a minute. I need to use the restroom, can you wait outside for me?”

“But hurry, okay?”

And i quick paced towards the restroom and as i entered it, i just sat there at a bench and took my head in my hands. I needed to converse with myself.

I seriously needed to.

It feels mandatory to write about what i'm talking here.

So there's these random times - not very rare but not very abundant - when i zone out and embarrass myself and though Aania, my wife, suspects there's something unusual and that i'm hiding what it is, i have managed to hide it successfully over these months.

Not anymore, i guess.

It's getting more frequent than it was at the start of our married life. I guess it's getting more frequent because i'm stressing over not telling her, and it makes me more upset as i try to hide it and suppress it when i'm with her. It's getting harder the more time passes.