Rebel

chapter five

After the ten minute hassel of figuring out how to work the shower I clean myself quickly then grab a towel. Really why do they need four different handles for hot or cold water? I head towards my bed to see the dreadful dress he has chosen for me. It is a simple white dress that doesn't look extremely short which I am thankful for. The only problem is it only has shoulder straps. I gulp and drop the towel that was around my body. I was just going to put my old clothes back on but they disappeared out of the bathroom while I was showering. I have no choice but to put the dress on. By the dress is what I am assuming is a bra but it's fancier then I have ever seen and it doesn't have any straps. I hope I didn't put it on upside down. It feels uncomfortable, but maybe that's normal. There is also a cute pair white panties.

I put it all on and sit on the bed waiting for William to return. I try my hardest to find a jacket or some kind of long sleeve shirt but I find nothing. The reason I am so against wearing this dress is because the top part of my left arm is covered in scars from when I struggled with cutting. I started half way through the six months when my mother wouldn't speak to me and didn't stop till about a year after she was gone. I don't know I started but it helped me cope with all the different emotions I was dealing it. When I cut it took my mind off my mom it gave me an escape that I was desperate for. I don't know how long I would have kept cutting if Landon hadn't of seen the cuts and scars when we were training.

I only cut on the upper half of my bicep so I could were long sleeve shirts rolled up to my elbows in the summer. We were training and gripped my left bicep and I winced it had fresh cuts on from earlier that morning. He stopped and was trying roll my sleeve up to look see and if he had hurt it somehow but I was freaking out which just made him more determined. When he saw them he was silent for a moment and I was so afraid he would be angry with me. Then he spoke softly and just asked me why. I told him I why and he just sat there holding my arm. He--

I was torn out of my memory buy William gripping my left elbow with pure rage in his eyes. He gripped my elbow harder as he turned it left and right to see all the scars.

"What in the hell are these!" He roared his shoulders were rising and falling and I could see the anger radiating off of him. What in the world is wrong with him?!

"I-I" I stuttered but he cut me off.

"These were done on purpose I can tell." His voice was quieter now but I could still hear the anger in it.

"Why do you even care?!" I snapped at him. His hand tightened on my elbow to the point of it hurting. I tried to yank my arm out of his hand but it was of no use.

"I care because if I had known you were a suicide risk I would have never left you alone without a guard!" he snapped back his grip tightening even more and I let out and involuntary whimper. Of course he isn't showing any kind of normal emotions he is just mad because he thinks I'm going to kill myself.

"I haven't cut for almost a year" I breathe out in pain "Please...my elbow" I whisper.

He released me immediately and sat down beside me on the bed. "Was it because of your mother?" He asked softly. I couldn't hear anger in his voice anymore only concern. His mood swings are going to give me whip lash. He seems like he is calming down so I need to be careful how I proceed in this conversation.

I simply nod without looking at him. "Please give me a jacket to wear over the dress so no one can see the scars." I plead softly. I am not ashamed of my past, but I just don't want anyone to see the scars and think of me as weak. I know its prideful, but I don't care.

He rises then heads to the door. He stops not bothering to look back at me but he speaks softly. "You shouldn't listen to what your mother said. She was wrong. You are the strongest human girl I know and you are certainly not a waste of life" he walks out the door and I am completely confused. Did I just imagine him saying that?