Absolute Obedience

Chapter Thirty-Four

The next few days we spent in silence. Ben had attempted a few times to get me to leave but I didn't want to go where he wanted me to go. My wolf was on the brink of a full break down. The ignored emotions desperately trying to break free. I felt his anxiety, felt his inner feelings. The tension within, building. Everything was still so raw for him, but I tried to get my wolf to be patient. Our body needed more time to heal before we could break free of Ben. Once we did, then my wolf could have his moment.

Ben never left my sight. His eyes followed me constantly, his wolf continuously trying to soothe my own but I rejected him. Kindness always came at a price. There was always an ulterior motive, and I was slowly learning that.

In the mornings, Ben would have fresh meat cooking over the small fire he had built, it wasn't much but the wolf never ate leaving the entire thing to me and I ate. I wasn't concerned with him, I had myself to worry about and even though I wanted to ask, to get confirmation that I was allowed, I pushed those compulsive thoughts aside. I didn't want to answer to anyone. I didn't want to get permission to eat. Not anymore. I no longer want to feel dependent and although he supplied me food I only took it knowing my body was still healing.

At least, that's what I continued telling myself.

"If we don't leave tonight I will have to leave you." Night had fallen on our fifth day and Ben was becoming even more restless. His words were stressed. "I promise you that you'll be safe, no Kain, and Sid won't be able to get to you." I ignored his words, looked away from his pleading eyes and anxious movements.

Promises.

Lies.

I felt my wolf rise in my head as Bens own made another attempt to win us over. It felt like claws scratching at my mind, but I shut them out. My wolf growling in response to his.

"Leave," I spoke harshly releasing an annoyed growl. My patience with him was wearing thin. No one listened to me. No one cared about what I wanted. It was always about them.

"If I leave you, who do you think will come right in and take you? Do you not realize the situation you're in?" His voice was coarse. Anger, it was anger and it was directed towards me. I glowered across the small fire at him. Those pleading eyes hardened with his own determination as our eyes met. He didn't have the right to look at me with such eyes, to be angry at me.

If anyone knew best about my circumstances, it was me. I wasn't so naive to think that Beta wouldn't find me, but I'd rather take the risk than to continue being led in directions that still ended with me in pain. Did no one realize, or did they just not care?

I let a growl escape.

"Oh no, don't even think of growling at me! Your body is almost healed, and your heat isn't far off. I can smell it." Eyes flashed at me but his words didn't deter what I wanted. Even if my heat was coming I didn't want his protection.

"Do you want Sid to get you again" I snarled. He was playing with fire now. My wolf raised up in my head, his own anger building.

"Leave!" My voice was shrill. Looking at Ben and thinking of Beta, flashbacks of the crazed wolf hit me hard.

Did no one realize how much play the Beta had on me? I saw him everywhere.

Everything reminded me of him.

Everything about him was ingrained into my being. His voice, the feel of his skin, his scent, the way he breathed and even the sound of his heart. All of it, every last detailed, I remembered it all. My skin crawled and my throat closed up just thinking of him. Did no one realize the amount of fear I held for that wolf? At the same time, my fear was crippled with remorse for him. The two feelings together were deadly, yet misplaced. I knew that, but I couldn't stop the feelings.