Forever | ✓

7. Content

Liam

Bea held my hand as we made our way back from the park, skipping in her step as I held onto her tightly, in case she tripped. I wanted to be prepared and ready to pull her up, before she'd hit the ground.

My Bea is everything to me.

I promised myself and Julie that I'd always be there for her, ready to protect her. Never letting her get hurt.

"I had so much fun at the park today," Bea beamed up at me.

Her smile was like sunshine, enough to brighten whatever room she was in.

"That's great, princess. We'll go again another time," I smiled at Bea and she smiled back at me and carried on skipping along.

I was thankful everyday to my daughter with me, knowing that there was a chance I could've lost her too.

Whilst dating, Julie and I occasionally spoke about having kids, with me saying how I wanted them to be exactly like her and she wanted them to be like me.

After getting engaged, Julie told me about her plan. She had that white-picket fence dream, and wanted two kids at least, with a family pet, preferably a cat.

We had a plan. That didn't include her leaving me, barely a year into our marriage.

I love Bea, with all that I have, but no one could love her more than Julie, who gave her life up so our daughter could see the world.

I wish, more than anything, for Julie to be with us, but I know I can't have that. I just had to be strong now, for Bea.

***

"Daddy?" Bea looked at me as we got into our apartment.

Within the last few months, we had moved into a new place, in New York, after coming back from Australia.

When I first moved away, it was just to get away. I needed a break from everything. I couldn't stay in the same place, where Julie and I had shared a life. We had shared dreams and plans, but without her, everything felt incomplete.

It was a big change at first, but slowly thing became bearable. I wasn't sure if I was living, but each day didn't feel like a struggle. I missed her, but it wasn't as unbearable anymore.

When my firm asked if I would possibly head up the New York office, I said yes. I liked living in Australia, but it wasn't home, and my Mum really wanted me back.

New York wasn't exactly home, but it was closer than an entire ocean away.

I had visited the my old house, once. I had asked my parents to sell it shortly after our move.

I couldn't stay in the same house after everything, not when the place just reminded me of Julie.

She had decorated the place. When we moved in, she was so excited. She had always wanted her own place and to make it into something from her dreams, and I was so happy to give her that.

After she passed, it didn't feel like home anymore. Nothing did.

However, this apartment and this move, felt better. It weirdly felt positive in a way.

Bea also loves life here and nothing makes me happier than making her smile. She doesn't really miss our old house as much as I would've expected.

"Daddy, you're not listening," Bea tugged at my jacket, with a pout on her face.

"I'm sorry, honey," I smiled. "What's wrong?"

"Do you know if that nice lady will come back?" She asked me, whilst I took her coat from her.