Only Words Bleed

Someone That I Used To Know

Violet's Pov:

Clem can see the fear and regret in my eyes and she reaches her hand out as she takes a step forward to offer me some kind of comfort. "Violet..."

But I back up. I don't want to hurt her, or anyone else for that matter. What if that had been her instead of Louis?

"Louis!"

My eyes shift back and forth between him and Clem and soon everyone's attention is moved from him to me and I start to feel overwhelmed. It's clear that I never meant to hurt Louis, at least to my friends it is. He had only scared me and I had reacted out of instinct, but that didn't stop the guilt from consuming me.

So I turn on my heel and rush out of there as tears start to overtake me. Louis calls out to try and stop me, but I don't hear him. I just want to be left alone. That way no one could be hurt by my irrational actions.

------

I'm not sure how long I've been gone, and I really don't care. As long as Ms. Martin was willing to let me stay, that's all I cared about. I want to say it's been at least a half-hour if not more because we were well into fourth hour.

After I unintentionally punched Louis in the face I ran out of the cafeteria and eventually made my way to the nurse's office. I didn't want to be around anyone right now, not when I might cause them harm. Not when I might cause her harm.

I can feel my eyes water at the thought of Clem. I hate that I just up and left her, but I need time to be alone for a bit. I didn't want to stick around and risk attacking her as well. Apparently I'm just a pistol waiting to go off at the slightest touch. I guess someone broke the safety, so the trigger was free to be pulled at any time, and now it was just a game of Russian roulette for when I'd go off.

I'm thankful that Ms. Martin is so chill when it comes to bending the rules. Plus I think she has a soft spot for me and my friends, so it's a relief when she doesn't question my being here and lets me lay on the couch in her office. She accepts that I need a break from everything for a bit, and it doesn't hurt that I've recently been in the hospital, adding to my credibility for being here. Not that I was hurting, or at least in that way. I'm also thankful that Ruby isn't acting as her assistant today.

I have no doubt that my friends have tried looking for me, and I'm sure Clem is worried sick, but I can't face them right now. Not yet. I don't want to be bombarded with a million questions, that I don't even fully know the answers to.

But I'm actually surprised that no one has checked here, not that I'm complaining. I like the quiet at the moment, though I kind of wish I had Woody with me. He's the only one that I don't have to worry about hurting and I really want to cuddle him right now. I want something to help make me feel better and I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually want to go home. Despite my distaste for staying at my grandparent's house with all of the bad memories looming over me, I really just want to go home, throw on my pajamas and my favorite hoodie, and just cuddle Woody under the covers of my bed.

I sadly don't have that luxury and have to settle for sitting here as I stare up at a wall of inspirational medical posters and a table full of week-old magazines. But I suddenly feel uneasy as I stare at a poster that shows a picture of a brain with the different functions each part of it helps to perform in a different color. Especially the part about the Frontal Lobe as the words speaking and emotional traits reside under that category. Two things I seem to struggle with the most, and it doesn't help that the poster keeps reminding me of it. It makes me think about who I used to be and how I got to where I am now. The me who used to talk seems so distant now, like it was someone that I used to know.