Turning over in my sheets, I watched as the shadows from the tree branches danced across my white painted wall.
I couldn't sleep. Couldn't get that stupid image out of my head. My nails raked across my forehead as I brushed my hair back, turning over once again to stare at the ceiling.
A part of me hated that fact that I had ruined whatever chance I had with James, and a part of me was thankful that he'd found someone else to show his affections for.
James and I were two very different people. He preferred to live his life out loud, throw caution to the wind and escape the problems.
I was the type of girl who admired people like that but never actually got up and did anything. Throwing caution to the wind, wasn't me. I was safe, unsure and socially awkward.
But maybe because we were so different, maybe that's the reason we would've worked so well. Ying and Yang.
It was obviously too late now and honestly, I had to be okay with that.
A tap at my window made me sit up. At first, I thought it was the branches hitting the glass due to the wind outside but three taps happened again.
I pushed back my covers and crawled to the end of my bed. Looking out the window, I saw James half hanging out of his window across from me.
As quietly as I could, I pushed up my window. "James? What are you doing?" I asked worriedly as I looked at the drop between us.
I heard my alarm clock ding, announcing that it was one a.m.
"Move back," he whispered back.
I did as told and crawled back to my original position on my bed. I heard a scuffle and then James was sliding into my room, through the window. He landed softly on the edge of my bed and ran a hand through his white hair before turning to look at me.
"That was easy," he whispered with a small grin.
"Why are you in my room?" I asked quietly, ignoring the way the moonlight from outside made him look angelic like.
"I couldn't sleep," was he replied with.
I shifted as he crawled up towards me.
"What are you doing?" I asked before quieting myself.
He fell gently onto my pillows and tucked an arm under his head. "I'm laying down, what are you doing?"
I stared at him with disbelief.
"And you can't lie down in your own bed, why?" I asked.
His eyes slid to me and his face shifted into a serious look. "Because you're not there," he replied.
He patted the spot next to him and I sighed. Making sure there was a clear space between us, I laid back down on my bed, my sheets pulled up to my chest.
My eyes stayed open, staring up at the ceiling. Now it this felt even weirder, having just been thinking about James and now having him lie next to me.
Clearing my throat, I closed my eyes.
"I'm sorry about tonight," I heard James say.
My eyes fluttered open again. I wasn't sure what he was apologising for, it had been Chase that was extremely drunk. "Chase told me what you were going to speak to me about."
I was going to kill the asshole.
"Forget it James," I replied, almost wishing I didn't have to say it.
"Why?"
Turning my head, I looked at him. His eyes were on me. "Because you've moved on and I don't want to drag you back," I replied.
Something lifted the corner of his lip.
"Christine, you're not exactly the type of girl a guy can move on from."
"I don't know what that means," I replied.
James shifted, propping his head onto his hand. "It means Christie that you're the most amazing girl I've ever met and I couldn't simply just move on from you in a heartbeat. I know it sounds cruel but that girl was a distraction, I thought you didn't want me and yes I was trying to move on, but key word trying," he stated, shrugging his shoulders.
I didn't reply.
"When I saw you with my brother, I almost punched holes into walls but then I remembered that if he was the one that made you happy than fine, I would have to suffer through that." He said, his eyes studying mine.
I lifted my hand and cupped his cheek.
"I'm sorry," I apologised quickly.
He shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for, in fact I think we both just need to wipe the slate clean and start over," he said before looking away.
"We've both hurt each other, is that even possible?" I asked, dropping my hand.
Looking back at me, James nodded. "Christie, I'm so in love with you and I would do anything to make sure you're happy, even if that happiness isn't for me," he said, sincerely.
The butterflies in my stomach started again, like they would when we first started this self destructive dance of ours.
"James," I started.
He focused on me in the dim light. I could still point out his white locks falling into his eyes.
"No matter what happens now, promise me that we'll work on it, that we won't let little fights ruin us, that we'll make the commitment and fight for whatever is between us," I said strongly.
"Is that your way of admitting you have feelings for me?" James asked, raising an eyebrow.
I rolled my eyes. "You already knew I had feelings for you, your drunk brother told you," I replied.
"I want to hear it from you."
I paused for a moment, looking at him. "James, I have feelings for you, and sometimes I wish I could explain what they are but they're way too powerful for me to understand," I said to him.
James smiled. "Well that wasn't hard, was it? But I love you too, Baby."
A/N
THEY FINALLY ADMITTED IT TO EACH OTHER.
THANK GODDESS FOR THAT
YAY NOW ALL THE FLUFF STARTS
AND smexy times 😉
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Lots of love from, me, myself and I xoxoxoxoxox
