Not Love At First Sight || TharnType

5. Tar

    "Please. I'm scared." Type cried softly.

    "Relax." The boys voice called to him.

    "Please, Max." Type cried, grabbing tightly onto Max's shoulder. "I don't want to do this."

    "It'll be okay. It won't hurt if you relax. And remember what I told you. This can be our little secret." Max tried to coax him.

    "I don't want this."

    "Not all secrets are bad."

    Max's voice rang through his head as he shot up from his pillow.

    Not all secrets are bad.

    God, he hated hearing the same voice over and over in his dreams. The same words repeated over and over.

    Tharn was already awake and working on some homework when Type woke up.

    He turned and gave Type a worried expression. Sweat was basically pouring down his face and dried tears stained his cheeks.

    "Type?" Tharn asked standing up and walking over to him. "Are you okay?"

    "I'm fine." Type said swatting at Tharn's hand that was moving to touch his face.

    He pushed himself off the bed and walked into the bathroom. Tharn stared at the door for a few moments before going back to his desk.

    Type stared at himself in the mirror. Looking at the tears stream down his face.

    He gained his composure back and began to take a shower.

    Tharn sighed and put his things up, not wanting to be there when Type exited.

    They hadn't spoken about Tharn confessing his feelings to him and every time Tharn seemed to think Type was opening up, he became defensive again.

    He sighed and called up an old friend to meet and have breakfast.

    Tharn walked to the cafe near their dorm and met Tar, an old friend, and boyfriend, of Tharn.

    They had broken up a while ago, but we're still close. He had been one of the only guys Tharn had ever loved.

    "How are you?" Tar asked as they took their seat after ordering.

    Tharn sighed and let out small chuckle. "I've been the best I can be"

    "Is something going on?" Tar asked worriedly.

    Tharn waved his hand and shook his head. "Yeah, but it's not important. I want to know what's been going on with you. I heard you'll be leaving soon."

    Tar smiled and nodded. "Yes. My mother is letting me take a year off before college so I can go to Paris. And, if everything turns out okay, I'll be going to college there." He explained.

    Tharn smiled wide. "That sounds really amazing. I'm glad that you are finally getting to do what you've always wanted."

    "Yeah. I mean, it wasn't exactly planned like this. You know, with us being together in the original plan, but I feel like things worked out this way for the better." Tar told him. Tharn nodded his head in agreement.

    "Do you ever wonder what it would be like if we were still together?" Tharn questioned.

    Tar shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head to the side. "I do every once in a while. Mostly when I'm watching something we used to watch, or listening to a song we would always play. Just remembering the good times, I guess." He said with a smile.

    Tharn smiled back at him. "Are you seeing anyone?"

    "Not at the moment, and I don't think we'll ever be together."

    "Why is that?"

    "It's complicated."

    "I don't think I've ever related to something as much as I do to those words right now." Tharn chuckled.

    "You're seeing someone?"

    "No. I just like him, but I think it's pretty clear that we'd never be together."

    "And why is that?" Tar questioned. Who wouldn't want to be with Tharn?

    "He hates gays."

    Tar winced as those words and placed his hand over Tharn's that was laying on the table. "Damn. Have you told him how you feel?"

    "I did actually. I don't know why, knowing what I know, but it just felt right, you know? It was in the moment. But, since then, neither one of us have spoken about it."

    "Maybe he's shy." Tar shrugged.

    Tharn smiled and shook his head. "Him? Shy? I don't think so. He's pretty adamant on hating gays."

    "What did he do when you told him you liked him?"

    "He just got up and walked away."

    "Look." Tar said, taking Tharn's hand in his. "All I'm saying is that there is a thin line between love and hate."

    "I don't know."

    "Maybe you should try and make a move. See how he reacts." Tar suggested.

    Tharn shrugged again. "I'll think about it."

    Tar sighed and nodded, not wanting to push him any farther.

    "We should do this more often since you're leaving soon." Tharn suggested.

    Tar smiled and nodded. "I would like that."

    Tharn smiled and they carried on with a conversation about random things. They talked about school. About Tar's family. About Tharn's family. They really just caught one another up on each other's lives.

    They had dated for almost three years before breaking up a year ago. It still felt weird not having one another in each other's lives 24/7.

    They had really loved each other and it wasn't the kind of love that could be forgotten easily.

    They both tried, though. They both moved on for their own sake and for the sake of one another. They owed that much to themselves.

    Tharn told him he wouldn't date someone until Tar did though. Once Tar did start dating again, Tharn still refused to date.

    He didn't want it to seem like some sort of rebound and he really didn't want some month long relationship. He really just wanted to find someone he could love with all his head again.

    It was hard to believe, but he was beggining to think that maybe, just maybe, Type may be that person he needs.

    So, for that he would try.

    After breakfast with Tar, Tharn went straight back to the dorm.

    Type wasn't there. He must have left for class or to go see Techno or Champ. Or maybe he was going to see a girl.

    Tharn sighed and sat on his bed, waiting.

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