Starting over {Damien Haas}

Chapter 31

I think Damien is spreading himself too thin. Not only is he recording for that movie and doing smosh videos multiple days a week, but he's also shooting with other channels. New years eve was a couple days ago and we had such a good time, it was good to see him not focused on work or trying to book jobs or come up with sketch ideas. I'm just worried he's going to make himself sick from stress; I feel so helpless. On one hand I'm happy that he's getting extra work and bring in more than enough money but on the other I feel useless because I can't work more. I'm starting to feel really sick again and it's worse than it was in the beginning of my pregnancy. I just hope that everything is okay. Now I'm sat on the floor of the shower just letting the water pour on me. A knock came from the other end of the door and I sighed, "just a minute!" I yelled, reaching back to shut the water off and sliding the curtains open before pulling myself up on the side of the tub, standing up and wrapping the towel around myself.

"Come in!" I called, grabbing the other towel to dry my hair. "that was 1 long shower." Damien chuckled, walking into the bathroom in just boxers which were quickly removed. "yeah sorry I was just zoning out." I said, trying to laugh as meaningfully as I could but I came out half hearted. "are you ok babe?" he asked, looking out at me through the shower curtain. I look up at him in the mirror and sighed, spitting out the toothpaste that was in my mouth and putting the brush down. "I'm a little concerned that you're overworking yourself. I don't want you to feel burned out and stressed." I said, sitting down on the covered toilet and leaning against the sink. "I'm not, don't worry about me. I'm just doing what I can to keep us afloat until smosh is back up for good." he said, looking very sincerely at me, not breaking eye contact once. "I know I just don't want it to be the only thing you're focused on, drive is good, obsession isn't." I said simply standing up to leave. "I know, I'm sorry." he said, sounding very upset. "don't be, we love you." I said, with a sad smile. "I love you guys too." he said, smiling genuinly before ducking his head back into the shower.

When we got there we briefly met the crew and they jumped right into recording the episode, they asked damien what he'd been up to and he said that he'd been twitch streaming a lot which is true. He's on there every day and I'll either lay on the bed in the background and watch or go hang out with Shayne and Courtney. Sometimes I'll even get into the stream and say hi or play a game or answer questions, it's actually really fun. He talked briefly about how he likes twitch because the fans get to see the more human side of things. The crew asked him about his OCD diagnosis and he talked about his repetitive thoughts. I could see him getting frustrated when they weren't taking him seriously and I started to regret coming. I zoned out for a bit before getting up and stepping outside to calm Courtney.

After a good hour long conversation with me ranting quietly and her telling me to calm down, I finally went back inside and on the way to find the washroom, I ran into a familiar small woman. "oh hi Sydney!" she exclaimed, pulling me into a hug which I slowly returned. After a few seconds we pulled away and went for a walk around the office. We talked about her life working here and I talked about how my pregnancy is going and the work we've been doing for smosh. "you guys haven't found a parent company yet?" she asked as we took a seat in the room where I was before. I just shook my head in response. "we have a couple of offers but nothing yet." I said and she looked genuinely guilty. "I'm sorry man, and I'm sorry about everything that happened between us. No hard feelings?" she asked, sticking out her hand. I shook it, smiling widely, "no hard feelings."

A few hours later we were finished at JKnews and we were on our way to Ian's to get some prep work done for the 'dream a wish' video we were shooting next week. We quickly picked up In-N-Out again, getting our usual orders to eat on the way to Ian's so that we weren't hangry for the rest of the day. We've been eating out a lot more than we used to which is so not good but I'm craving everything and I feel great in the moment then I feel gross after. Whatever, we're busy people. "Ian said the doors open and just to walk in when we get there." I told Damien, not even looking up from my phone. Suddenly a coughing fit took over me and I couldn't seem to stop. We pulled into the drive way a few moment later and Damien stepped out of the car while a pain went through my side suddenly, causing me to yell. "what's wrong?!" Damien exclaimed, throwing the passanger side door open, how did he get there so fast?

"yeah just a sharp pain in my side, can you help me into the house?" I said through gritting teeth. He nodded and scooped me up, totally didn't expect that. I grabbed Ian's door handle with the hand that wasn't holding my hip and pushing it open. Another cramp shot through me again and I yelled out in pain. "what's going on in here!?" Courtney exclaimed running out from the props room with everyone else following closely behind her. Damien placed me as gently as he could on the couch and just shook his head, tears visibly welling up in his eyes. "I don't know she was fine in the car and we were getting out and suddenly she yelled and I don't know what happened." he explained, his voice wavering but loud, almost defensive but definitely worried. "we need to get her to a hospital, this can wait." Ian said, pulling out his phone to call 911.

Everything after that was kind of a blur, I remember the pain intensifying then subsiding but not long enough to catch my breath. "where's the pain Mrs. Miller?" asked the paramedic as he hooked me up to the blood pressure machine. "here." I managed to get out, pointing to my lower right side. I felt light headed and out of breath, I looked up at Damien who was sat just behind me in the ambulance. He had dried tears on his cheeks and his eyes were puffy. Everyone was panicking but no more than him, he was having a panic attack and I couldn't help him. I couldn't help but feel guilty for causing that though I couldn't control it; I just hate seeing him upset. He continued to ask me questions and I answered to the best of my abilities but when we were near the hospital, an especially bad cramp came over me and I blacked out.

"Sydney... Sydney Miller?" I heard my name being called, it sounded distant but I know the person was probably right beside me. I willed my eyes to open and they slowly complied. "you're awake, that's great to see Sydney. How are you feeling?" the man in the lab coat who I'm assuming my doctor is said. He was an older man in around his 50s or 60s, he had short salt and pepper hair and a 5 o'clock shadow. I could tell by his eyes that he was a kind man and I trusted him instantly, maybe that's why he got into medicine. "I'm feeling a lot better. The pain isn't sharp anymore, I do feel some residual pain in my side thought." I explained, reaching for the Styrofoam cup by my bed side and taking a sip of the water. "well, I'm happy to tell you that what you experienced is not pregnancy complications and the pain you experienced is quite normal, especially in the second trimester." I breathed a sigh of relief and let him explain what happened to me.

"what you experienced today is something called round ligament pain. Like I said it's most common in the second trimester and can be felt in the abdomen, the hips or even the groan. It can come about if you stand up too suddenly, twist awkward or even having coughing or laughing fits." he said and it hit me, I was coughing too hard. "your body is constantly changing so if this does persist the only thing to do is rest. When you get up, try and do it slowly so your muscles have time to adjust and when laughing or coughing flex your hip to avoid pain." he explained. He then told me that I was ok to go and just to take Advil if I feel sore. I was really thankful that it wasn't anything serious. I walked out of the emergency room to find the whole squad sitting in the waiting room, laying against each other, most of them asleep. All except Damien who was pacing. When he saw me he ran up to me and kissed me hard, taking me back a little.

"you're ok." was all he said, and when he pulled back I noticed his tear stains had become fresh again. "aww baby what are you crying?" I asked softy, rest my hand on his cheek and wiping the tears away with my thumb. "seeing you like that today scared me so much, I don't know if I was losing you or the baby or both. I would have been devistated by either outcome. It really made me reflect and realize I love you more than I thought and I can't imagine my life without you. Will you marry me?" he said, leaving me in total shock. "of course I will Dames." I said breathlessly before I was pulled in for another passionate kiss. "I will get you a real ring once our lives are back in order." he said, causing me to chuckle. After that we woke everyone up and everyone went their separate ways with the promise to return to Ian's tomorrow to our work then but for now, we headed home with Courtney and Shayne and feel asleep the second we got into bed.

Hey guys! Umm... I'm having a bit of a hard time at work rn and I'm not able to write as much as I'd like to, I do have a decent amount of chapters pre written after this but at this point, I'm planning for the story to be 50 chapters long. It might take me a good way into the new year to write all that but it will get done I promise. Thank you all for sticking with me through filler chapter and inconsistent publishing. Love always, Sofia-Rose 💋