BFR Critiques Entry (B.C.E)

One Mistake Ten Lies

Book - One Mistake Ten Lies by PRNTAI

Reviewed by - dee_hope

GRAMMATICAL CONSTRUCTION : 08

Your grammatical construction needs some work. Remember not to use sentences that are way to short, or ones that go on and on without end. Your sentences got confusing in some instances, try adding a little more clarity in your writing.

GRAMMATICAL ERRORS : 07

Quite a number of grammatical errors. There was the continuous switching of tenses, similar sounding words exchanged (eg: using 'sealing' when you actually meant 'ceiling') and just random displacement of words. Editing thouroughly could help.

EASILY UNDERSTAND : 07

Sentences were sometimes jumbled up, so the images you were trying to form became unclear. It was obvious what you meant, but again, work on the clarity of your sentences.

USE OF VOCABULARY : 08

They're just normal words we see and use. Adding a few new words can come in handy. It makes the whole reading experience lively and captivating.

USE OF PUNCTUATIONS : 07

Needs more work. And if you use them, make sure you put them correctly at where they belong. Another point in the clarity sector.

PORTRAIT OF THE STORY IN THE TITLE OF THE BOOK : 09

It's pretty good, it captures the whole line of deception displayed in the book.

LESSONS GAINED : 09

Well the book isn't done yet but there are some pretty deep lessons plainly stated.

Staying true to ones self...
    So basically. We shouldn't change ourselves to fit the world. The world is forever going to revolve around our thinking. We're going to be led astray, taken away from our beliefs, plunged into a world of lies, deception-- but how we overcome all that should depend on us. Not others. We shouldn't become heartless because we feel like the world is heartless. The world isn't all that bad, we can stay true to ourselves, true to what we originally believe in.

CHARACTER SKETCH : 10

Prin is very emotional. She crys, she's sentimental, she has a heart that screams 'purity'! I love how she never loses her chance to smile, and even how bad the situation is, if it tickles her funny bone, she'll laugh to her hearts content.

Jungkook at first was quite shy of Prin. He still is, but he's warming up to her. I wish he could get a little more confidence though. It'd be so much better.

Tae. V is so messed up. Like, according to the way you depict his character, he gives way too many mixed signals. But even though he's just as bad, terribly heartless, we know its not entirely his fault. He must have gone through a break up that really broke him (again, he wasn't true to himself). He's kind of using the whole badboy act as a defence mechanism.

You have an awesome idea,  love how its going. Although, Taehyung's parts really break my heart. I could never imagine the real Tae being so heartless. Not in a million years.

But I'll too see where you'll take this.

Score: 65/80

Thank you.