The Way He Does

Chapter 36

They say the moment you let go of someone you love is the moment you remember why you loved the person. It's true. Only when I got in that car and it drove off, I remembered the first time I heard his voice and then right after it, I looked into the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. I was scared, unsure, but curious. He came into my life without any warning and I didn't know what I was getting myself into, but I found myself gradually getting obsessed with him and then falling for him. I fell in love. His smell, his touch, his taste. Everything I thought I wouldn't be able to live without anymore, I have lost. It's the moment of realization which hurts the most.

I don't know when the last time was, that I cried this hard. My chest is hurting and I can barely breathe. I was sure he was the right one. How am I supposed to start all over and pretend that nothing has happened?Unfortunately I was never prepared for this moment, because I was never prepared for falling in love. Do I write it down? Do I talk about it? Or do I listen to several break up songs and try to find the right one, that fits to my situation? Either way, I will have to deal with it. Adrien doesn't love me, he never did. It's over. He doesn't want me.

I don't wanna sleep alone tonight, Vicky might be asleep right now, but I need her at this moment. I don't know how I'm going to sleep for the next couple of weeks. 

In the middle of the late night inside a dark room, I let my feelings eat me away. Take everything of me that is left there. What did my mom always tell me? 'You're a strong woman Lola, us Montgomery women are strong" yet I don't feel like it. When have I ever showed strength in the last couple of months? And right now? I'm exhausted and I don't wanna get up from this spot anymore. Until my friend pulls me up and takes me into her arms without asking any questions. I'm glad she just leaves me alone to cry, no explanations needed, she knows I can't talk when I cry like that.

In the morning after we wake up, she makes me waffles and a cup of tea with cinnamon. Even though she respects my choice of not talking about it, I sense her burning curiosity. I don't want to torture her with my silence, she deserves an explanation.

"Adrien and I ended our relationship."

"I'm so sorry Lola."

"It's okay, I should've seen that coming. I was delusional as always." She places her hand on mine and gives me a slight smile.

"We're delusional because we want to protect ourselves from the bitter reality. I know you loved him and it might sound harsh what I'm about to say, but there are plenty of fish in the sea. One will be the right one, maybe not Adrien or Joe or Stephan, but maybe it's Christoph. Or Albert-"

"Okay I get it." I interrupt her. "But I don't want Christoph or Albert. I want Adrien."

"I know, but you have to get over him and I will help you with that." She claps in her hands and wiggles her brows, but I am about to disappoint her.

"No parties." Her shoulders drop. The last thing I need is another man who I start hooking up with after a party. Although I know it won't ever happen again, parties aren't meant for real relationships. Besides, I don't want no man in my life right now.

"Alright we're not going to a club."

"And no secretly signing me up on online dating sites or for blind dates." She promisingly nods her head.

The recent days have been pretty weird as I tried to carry on with my daily routine, only without him. No matter what I was doing, he has been on my mind constantly, that I even began to get mad at him for having such an impact on my life. Not only that, but he's also the owner of this stupid editing company. My mother always told me to separate relationships from work, her friend once started dating her former boss. It turned out pretty bad to be exact. Those were one of her many stories, whenever she drove me to school.