Because I'm a Nerd.

Chapter 6- "I'm new today..!"

Chapter 6- "I'm new today!"

SCARLETT POV

Jonathan was one of the few people in my life pre-oliver. Not that there's a lot of people post-oliver, but that's how I like to see it. He was one of the only people I knew who talked to Oliver. It hurt me knowing that Jonathan knew so much about me. He didn't deserve to. He was a jerk. A jerk who had the audacity to smile and wave at me with his other arm around Marissa. A jerk who thought he had the right to saunter in back to my life as if he never left. A jerk who thought I would forgive him.

But at the same time, there was a part of me that somewhere, deep in my heart wished that this jerk had stayed.

The part that missed him and his hugs. The part that longed to see his eyes light up. The part that could, admittedly, have died to have Jonathan live at one point of time.

The part that despite whatever I told my friends, wasn't completely over him yet.

Evan glanced over to me after he plopped the lattes on our table. He looked at me questioningly and I merely nodded. His arm muscles recoiled and an expression of great fury replaced his relaxed features. I knew this look well. It meant Evan was preparing to fight. And even though I was all for punching Jonathan, violence was a line I was yet to cross. I shook my head and went over to our marble-topped table.

"E, I know what you're thinking. Don't do it. That guy isn't worth it. And look at me. I'm fine, no panic attacks, nothing. Don't do it." I said, trying to calm an irate Evan down.

Emmett, Allie and Adrian had caught on by then. I'd only needed to say panic attacks to have their undivided attention. Ever since we had to start attaching 'was' to any sentence about Oliver, I'd been getting these random panic attacks. Although the last month had been a lot better for me, I still had a long way to go.

"If you say so, Scarlett. And we're leaving now. I don't care where we go. I just can't sit back and watch him." Evan said, snapping me out of my trance.

"Deal" I said before taking my latte in my hand and gesturing at them to follow. If leaving was the only way to avoid a fight, I'd do it.

"Hey, Scar, let's go up to my place and watch The Notebook" Adrian said.

I smiled inspite of myself. The guys hated it. And anything that would cause a few playful fights was game. Plus, it wasn't like I was all happy anymore. Jonathan's presence had affected me like a dementor's presence affects a wizard. It had sucked all the happiness out of me. And what was worse was that, I had no Patronus. Well, maybe Ryan Gosling's hot body could change that.

"Yeah, that sounds good. Guys, what say?" Allie asked, eager to ogle over Ryan. I didn't blame her. My plans weren't any different from hers, were they now?

"I'm in." I said. A chick-flick/romcom was sounding more appealing bye the second.

"Okay, we'll watch it just this once" Emmett said before Evan could.

Then we all laughed, I felt a little better already. Maybe I could delay the waterworks. I couldn't cry in front of them. I wasn't the sort of person to. I preferred bottling my feelings up and then having panic attacks. For some weird reason, my preference wasn't subject to change in the near future. You could call it masochistic, but deep down it wasn't that.

It was a fear of being caught crying. Getting caught crying would invariably result in seeking attention. And attention was something I could definitely live without.

It wasn't everyday one had to battle an oncoming apocalypse of tears on seeing their on/off love interest and being reminded of their dead twin now, was it?