EVERYTHING'S PERFECT!

4

Neha gets the shock of her life.

NEHA: (gasps) Oh my God! What happened?

With great effort, Anuj manages to lay him on the couch. He straightens up, breathless, his back stiff...

ANUJ: (whispers under his breath) Jesus. He weighs a ton.

SANJANA: (to Neha) Don't panic. He's just had a little too much to drink. He's going to be alright. He might experience a --

Neha cuts her off with a bewildered expression.

NEHA: Drink!!? Drink what?

SANJANA: You know, (shrugs) drinks. Hard stuff. Alcohol.

NEHA: He never used to!

SANJANA: I know. We tried to stop him but –

NEHA: He never used to! And you people made him!

SANJANA: (stunned) Wha--? No, we didn't. Let me explain.

NEHA: I'd clearly warned him! But of course, who listens to me anyway?

SANJANA: No. No-no-no! You don't understand.

Neha holds up a hand, gesturing to shut up.

NEHA: Please. Just leave!

One by one, the lights come on. Prem, Aadi's younger brother, descends the stairs. Simar, his wife, tags behind.

PREM: What's going on?

ANUJ: You must be Prem, Aadi's brother?

Prem reaches the foot of the stairs, proceeds to shake hands with Anuj.

PREM: Yes, and you're Anuj, the director.

ANUJ: Yes. Can I have a word with you, in private?

They move to a quiet corner. Anuj fills him with details. Prem grows astonished and worried. He steals a glance at Neha who stares back at him.

The rest of the family emerge from their chambers, all of them equally astonished.

***Note*** Being traditional and reserved, Aadi still lives with his big, orthodox, and narrow-minded joint family.

PREM: (to Anuj) No worries, bro. I'll let you know when he comes around.

ANUJ: Thanks.

They leave.

Neha sits beside Aadi, caresses his cold, sweaty face and tries to wake him.

Prem approaches her.

PREM: He's going to be okay. Don't worry.

NEHA: What did they tell you?

Prem hesitates for a moment.

PREM: He got into a brawl with Mehul Pandey.

At the name, Neha's breath gets lodged in her throat.

NEHA: What?

PREM: Apparently, he was challenged to a platter of drinks.

NEHA: By whom?

PREM: Mehul.

NEHA: (incredulous) And he accepted it?

PREM: Mehul was being an ass. He provoked Aadi. Insulted him. He's very different in person than on screen.

NEHA: So!!? Why does he have to react in the same way? I mean like... where are his brains at? He just started his career and ended up with egg on his face. Like he found no one else to lock horns with?

PREM: (sighs) Now that it has happened, there's nothing that can be done, except meet him and settle it out.

NEHA: (crumbles) Oh God.

Aadi's parents, brothers, their wives and Dadi gather around.

Aadi stirs senselessly, shudders as if in a violent nightmare.

NEHA: Aadi.

Neha senses all eyes on her. She grows embarrassed, troubled... She shakes him, tries to wake him up, but he's as good as dead.

PAPA: Neha, let him be. It's pointless trying to wake him up. Let him come around on his own. (Turns to his sons) Prem, Shailu, Sankalp. Take him to their room. If someone walks in early in the morning and sees him passed out on the couch like this, it's going to be embarrassing.

The Vardhan boys roll up their sleeves, prepare to haul Aadi off the couch.

SHAILU: Ready? On the count of three. One. Two. Three!

With a massive groan, they lift him off the couch, only to lose their guard and topple back down.

PREM: (breathless) There seems to be a slight miscalculation, (straightening up), he's heavier than we thought.

SHAILU: What the hell! What'd he eat at the party? Ten sacks of rice?

SANKALP: Maybe he swallowed a block of iron.

PREM: (chokes) Damn, the fumes of alcohol!

SANKALP: Smells like rum.

SHAILU: (suspicious) How do you know?

Sankalp dodges his question, looks away.

PAPA: Sattu, you help them.

He joins them.

SHAILU: Ready? Three. Two. Onnneee!!!

They pull him down! One hand in Shailu's, the other in Sattu's, a leg in Prem's and the other in Sankalp's. They shuffle to the stairs when –-

Aadi begins to gag. The brothers freeze to their spots.

SHAILU: What's that? What's going on?

PREM: I think that he's going to –

BWAAAAAAHHHHHHHHRRRGGHHHHH!!!! Aadi flips over and throws up a truck load of puke.

The brothers involuntarily drop him to the floor.

PREM: (finishes his sentence) – vomit.

Neha gets to his side, tries to move him in vain.

NEHA: Aadi. Aadi, get up!!!

BWAAAAHHHHHH!!! He barfs all over the floor.

The brothers back off.

Neha too.

DADI: (furiously) Leave him there!!! No one touch him! Back to your chambers!

***Note*** Dadi is very strict and short-tempered. No one dares talk back to her.

A deafening silence, broken by another round of BWAHHHHRRRRHHH!!!

NEHA: But, Dadi, we can't leave him here like this. Not in this state. If someone walks into our house in the morning –

DADI: (cuts her off) Then let them see! And let them laugh! And at least then, let his nose fall out of joint in shame! He must learn! He's not a kid. Everything happens for the best!

NEHA: (in tears) Dadi –

DADI: The conversation ends here!!!

An agonizing silence. Dadi glares around at the family.

DADI: Well? What are all of you waiting for? Back to your rooms!!!

One by one, they retreat to their dens. All except Neha.

Dadi shoots one last poisonous glare before walking away.

Humiliated and shocked, Neha dissolves into tears and crumbles to the floor with her knees drawn to her chest. An arm's length away, Aadi lies senseless in his own muck.

***