EVERYTHING'S PERFECT!

3

He picks up the short rod from beside the bed, one which he has always kept with him since that fateful night, and bolts out of the room and to the ---

KITCHEN

Half-expecting a blow in the face from an intruder, he takes a cautious peek inside. What he sees in there raises an eyebrow: ...

Neha, petrified and huddled on the kitchen counter with her legs drawn to her chest. In her trembling hand is a rolling pin.

She notices Aadi's head sticking in, staring at her as if she'd gone balmy.

She answers him with a finger at the cooking range.

AADI: (wondering) Why's she pointing at that? Is something in there? (to Neha) What? What is it?

NEHA: (panicking) Under... under there...

Yes, it is a snake, he concludes. Cautiously, he moves in, brandishing the rod, ready to strike at any surprises. He keeps a safe distance from the cooking range and from whatever is down there, goes on his knees.

NEHA: (panicking) A-Ah-Aadi... Careful.

He puts a finger to his lips, gesturing her to be quiet, then, cautiously bends over, expecting a viper strike right at his face.

It's dark in there, yet, he sees it --- black, shining button-eyes, long fluffy whiskers and a wet nose. Then, without warning...

ZZZZZZZIPPPPP!!!!

It shoots at him, right into his shirt. A tiny little mouse!

Neha SHRIEKS! If she could go any higher up than the counter, she'd choose the ceiling.

AADI: (springing to his feet) Whoa! Shit!

He gropes himself - Here. There. Everywhere! But there's no getting that little ball. It shamelessly scampers over his terrain.

AADI: (jumping around, grabbing himself) Get it off! Get it off!

NEHA: (shrieking, panicky) On your back! (Shrieks) Your neck! Your chest!

AADI: (yelling) Just don't sit there and do som - aHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

It TICKLES him in the stomach.

NEHA: What!!?

His eyes POP out as it shoots down his ---

--- PANTS!

AADI: Shit-shit-shit!!!

It wiggles and squirms down there!

He SMACKS it down over his crotch!

AADI: Gotcha mother f----

SLIP!!! It bolts out of his hold.

He gets it again, this time, trapping it over his butt.

AADI: (triumphant, growling through clenched teeth) Hah! Gotcha you little rascal!

SQUEAK-SQUEAK-SQUEAK! The terrified mouse cries for help!

Even more terrified is Neha, still on the counter, legs tucked away from frantic mice.

AADI: (pinning it down) Neha! Quick! Get over here and pull this bitch out!

NEHA: (ogling) What? Are you crazy? I'm not touching that thing!

AADI: Then how the hell am I supposed to --- Argh! Shit!!!

He roars in rage!

NEHA: (panicking) What?

AADI: Son of a bitch chewed my butts!

NEHA: Oh shit! That's dangerous! You could get the plague!

AADI: Quick! Grab that pin and hit it hard!

NEHA: (eyeing the squiggling ball on his butt) What?

AADI: (desperate) Just do it!

NEHA: (sheepish) No! What if I miss?

And what if it runs up her legs?

AADI: Beyyy yaar! Hit it now!

She clambers down the counter, aims the pin over his butt.

NEHA: (trembling) Hold it properly!

AADI: I am! Now do it fast before it escapes!

NEHA: (loud) I'll kill you if that happens!

AADI: (snarling through clenched teeth) Can you just hit it?

She readies herself, all the while, chanting. Don't miss. Don't miss. Don't miss.

***