Until the Very End

Chapter 38

"Don Man?" Meryl said as she found her husband in the kitchen. "Baby, what are you doing?"

Don sighed as he slammed the dishwasher closed. "I was doing the dishes or am I not good enough to do that anymore?"

"What is wrong with you?" Meryl snapped. They had both reached their breaking point. "The girls think you're pissed at them. I tried to tell them you're not but the way you're acting..."

"No, you're right." Don said as he continued to clean the kitchen. "I'm not pissed at them. I'm pissed at you. If I wasn't doing a good enough job taking care of you then you didn't have to go behind my back and call the girls when I told you I didn't want that."

Meryl was pissed now. "Do you really think that I would do that?"

"I don't fucking know, Meryl." Don sighed. "You fucking tell me."

Meryl glared at him. "I think you are being a selfish son of a bitch right now making this about you. When the girls came to see us. I didn't call them. So, when you're done playing the poor Don game and making me out to be the villain then you let me know."

"Look, I know I fucked up, that I've failed." Don choked with tears in his eyes. "But being selfish, that's fucking low. You and the babies are all I've thought about. You think me not wanting help is because I'm being selfish? I feel fucking guilty. I've failed. I know I have. I'm just trying to make it up to you. But you don't want me to be the one to take care of you, fine. I'll leave you alone."

Meryl could see him shaking and the tears he was trying to hold back, so she grabbed his hand, and immediately softened. It had been a while since they had a fight, and this one could have easily spiraled out of control as stress was high, and she didn't want that. "Don Man, what do you mean you have failed and fucked up?"

"Never mind." Don shook his head. "Take your meds. I'll be out in the guest house."

When Meryl looked in his eyes she saw a combination of hurt and pain and just being lost. "No, you won't. We are going to talk about this. First of all, I didn't call them. Don, baby, you are the ONLY one I have felt safe with. Yes, I am worried about you, but I would never go behind your back and do that. You take amazing care of us. The girls just wanted to see us."

"I know you wouldn't, thanks." Don said trying to get up. "I should go talk to the girls."

"That can wait, what you are feeling and going through is more important." Meryl was slowly realizing he picked a fight with her, just so she wouldn't realize how he was feeling. She pulled him back down to sit on the couch. "Baby, why on earth do you think that you have failed and fucked up? Of course, you haven..."

Don got up and started to pace. "YES, I have, Meryl. I mean my god, I let that fucking psycho get to you. Then I am sitting in the fucking waiting room while that bastard holds a pillow over your face. So much so, that you threw up foam from asphyxiation. And now, they can't find the mother fucker. I have failed. I have told you over and over again how I wouldn't let him get to you and kids, but he DID. He held a gun to your head! He left the babies in some god damn room to cry their eyes out. THEN, when I did find you, I told you that he wouldn't get to you again...but then he held that freaking pillow over your face. THEN, they let him get out again. I don't know where the fuck he is. I don't know how to make it okay. Then the only thing I can do is take care of you and the babies, but I obviously can't do that right because the girls are here to correct my fuck ups."

"Sweetheart!" Meryl gasped with tears streaming down her face as she watched Don slide down the wall of the kitchen, sit on the floor with his head in his hands, and sobbed. She immediately sat down beside him, taking him into her arms, letting him break down. Lord knows, she had her breakdowns all throughout the day and night, it was his turn. "You do everything right. NOBODY takes care of me and our family as you do. That isn't why the girls are here. They were scared. They wanted to see US, meaning you too. They didn't come because they think you can't take care of us. They know that there is NO ONE in the world that loves me, them and their siblings and niece like you do. NO ONE comes close to taking care of us the way you do. Baby, you haven't fucked up."