Rejected and Insecure

Chapter 40

CHRIS

I held my violin close and shut my eyes as I draw the bow across the strings, producing a melody coming from the depth of my heart, actually I created this song for mother but she'll never ever hear it.

I put an end to my work once all my emotions was out, I feel better now.

"You play just like your grandmother." Dad said as he pop out from nowhere, I flinched and tense up.

I wasn't expecting him in my room, maybe I did something wrong that I can't remember? I started recalling all the bad things I did before.

"You know she was a good violist." He said softly, as he took some slow steps toward me.

"Yeah, grandpa told me about her."

He stare at me weirdly before speaking up. I looked away trying to avoid eye contact am not a fan of his piercing gray eyes, I used to find comfort in them but I long lost those comforts.

"I know you turned fourteen, and I was not present, so I do want to catch up, so today were spending time together." He trail off.

I froze with my eyes wide, gosh! I wasn't expecting this! Is been ages since he spent time with me and I don't think is a good idea cause he makes me uncomfortable, but me been me I did what I had to do.

"S-sure." I crack my lips in a small smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our day is going pretty well, we talked and did old stuffs like we use to do and I finally got use to his presence as a loving father not a dictator.

"Wow you know the golf game! Just a little more tips and you'll be better than me son." He said with a warm huge smile that I missed.

"Oh that's thanks to you, I can still recall the moments we spent in this field playing golf and doing stuff when I was five." My gaze drop to the floor.

"I also recall the time you taught stars were stones and you said it was going to fall some day." We both chuckled. "Then you watched a movie on scary clowns, and you were so scared dragging me out of bed every night cause you thought some scary clowns were in the toilet." He laughed while I blushed, then I felt sad, so many good memories why did they stop?

"Dad?"

"Hmm?" He responded as he hit the golf ball.

"Why did you stop loving me?" I said above a whisper.

He stop brutally in his act.

"Stop loving you?" He raised a brow. I looked away.

"When I was a kid you were always there for me, you were a sort of motherfather at same time, you sang me lullabies and told me stories, you never left my sight but then I started growing and everything change you spent your time in the office isolated from everything including me and you became really..." I paused as my gaze traveled to the far end of the field, I sigh. "Harsh, cold, scary." I Mumble as I turn my back on him.

I felt two hands turning me around, then his grey eyes stare deep in mine, he didn't break our eye contact, "I never stop loving you, I loved you, I still love you and I always will love you, I just taught you needed to grow like your brothers, you didn't need me anymore. I admit I made a huge mistake and am terribly so but I want you to know I love you so much! You filled the gap in my life and when your mother died, each day I needed comfort I just had to look into your eyes. Have I ever told you how I use to get lost in the ocean of your eyes?"

I smiled, "yeah, you loved saying that before." I chuckled.

He pulled me in a huge, I relax in his embrace, "you missed me dad, I love you so much!" (sorry @longday236.)