54) The Choice

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"Why did you think having sex with Gabriel was a good idea again?" Darian asked me while we talked on the phone

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"Why did you think having sex with Gabriel was a good idea again?" Darian asked me while we talked on the phone. He'd called me while I was heading over to my parents' house. "Breakup sex may be hot, but it's just a big mindfuck."

        Mindfuck it was.

        I couldn't sleep last night. I kept replaying my and Gabriel's night together in my head. It felt so good in the moment, but the second he left, the emptiness sunk in.

        I had him physically one last time, but he still wasn't mine.

        "I wanted closure," I told Darian.

        "Bet you didn't get that."

Not even close. I just wanted Gabriel more. I wanted more chess and swimming sessions with him. More nights of lovemaking. More long talks. More nights of just laying in bed, cuddling with no sex. I wanted more of him.

        I didn't want last night to be my last time with him.

        "Last night just confirmed what I already knew," I said. "I'm not ready to say goodbye."

        Hence, why I was driving to see my father. I tried not to think about it too much, fearing that I would psych myself out of it. I was acting purely based off the emotions from last night.

        "He's leaving for Australia later today," Darian reminded me. "What are you going to do?"

        "What I should have done a long time ago."

        I was calling off the engagement. For real this time.

        "Don't be hard on yourself, Gyan," Darian said. "You're doing your best in a fucked-up situation. You didn't choose this."

        If I did nothing, I would lose Gabriel. If I did something, I would lose my father. No one would choose this.

        I parked in my family's driveway. "I'll talk to you later, Darian."

        "Good luck, man."

        We hung up, and I made my way inside. I knew my father would be in his office. He always was. As predicted, he sat in his chair reviewing some paperwork. Was he ever not working? I didn't want that life for myself.

        I didn't know everything I wanted, but I knew what I didn't.

        "The wedding is off," I announced while standing in front of my father. He slowly rose his head to look up at me. "You need to call off the engagement."

        He frowned, staring at me silently for some time. "Beta..." My father stood up, and he made his way around his desk to stand in front of me. "Listen to me."

        "I'm done listening," I said. "It's time you did. I'm not going through with this arranged marriage."

        "Do you hear yourself right now?" He wiped his mouth in frustration. "The wedding is in three months."

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