All the Way (Kylo Ren x Reader)

Introductions

Kylo's POV

Kylo woke up a few times during the night because he was not used to not having the full bed to himself. The Doc did not need much space, barely over a quarter but it was still noticeable for him. She was so still. The few times he had accidentally touched her skin he was worried she had died. The only thing indicating that she was still alive was her chest, slightly moving up and down with every breath. If it weren't for that he would have thought someone had placed a corpse next to him. A dead body would perhaps be only slightly colder than her skin was. And it would probably look a bit less ashen.

She was so frail sometimes, like a porcelain doll that could crack at any moment...and then it was the complete opposite again. She ignored every wound and strained her body to a very unhealthy extent. Not even her mind was safe from her ordeals, she kept on going, forcing herself to live through her worst memories each day with an ambition he had not seen very often. The only thing that revealed how much those memories actually hurt her were the nightmares.

Every time he had to wake her up she got angry at herself. Angry for being so affected. Trying to find a way to forget the deaths of her 'brothers', how she always called them in her mind. She could not. She knew that as well, because the pain she felt she ended up using to increase her connection with the Dark Side.

Usually he knew when the nightmares started. Whenever his sleeping mind picked up a 'no' or the sound of movement he woke up. Then it was enough to shake her awake, she normally just nodded and whispered a quiet 'thank you' before both of them went back to sleep.

He closed his eyes again and started to drift back into sleep as he heard her mouth a quiet 'Kylo'. That was unusual. Was she awake? He opened his eyes again, she had hers still closed. Her facial expression was a mix between worry and fear.

He lifted his arm, ready to shake her awake as she repeated it again: "Kylo."

It did not take him long to find her presence within the Force. The dreamscape was as it always was. Mud, trenches, corpses. She shouted his name again and sprinted over the battlefield, taking cover behind various objects. He hadn't seen that before, usually she crawled through hideouts and ditches for a long time before she went out in the open.

The landscape shifted into a village. The same village where he had met her again. The inhabitants were surrounded by mudtroopers and he could see himself, standing at the edge, giving the command to execute them. The soldiers started shooting but the crowd of people just ran towards him, burying him underneath the mass of bodies.

"Kylo, NO!", she shouted and wanted to get in between them to where he had been standing. But the villagers disappeared. So did the buildings and the mud. The only thing that was left was his own limp body, trampled to death. She fell down next to him and carefully moved a strand of hair out of his face.

"I am sorry...", she whispered and hugged the lifeless mass of flesh and broken bones.

Kylo wanted to wake her up but the scenery changed again. He knew this place. He just had never really seen it from this angle. The Doc was hiding behind a ventilation duct, Hux to her right. She jumped up and sprinted towards a duct that was closer to the General. The Resistance fighters did not let loose, shooting her a few times but the armour stopped all of the shots. Kylo saw himself appear through the door, chopping a few of the fighters to bits. Then his lightsaber flickered. Within the blink of an eye he had died again.

The same change of scenery. A black void with nothing in it but his corpse and the Doc kneeling next to it, helplessly trying to shake him awake. As if that would somehow help. She knew it as well as Kylo that her efforts were useless, just some hopeful feeling that there would be any way to bring him back to life.