My Best Friend's the God of Mischief // Peter x Loki

one, two, three, exhale. one, two, three. again

After a week together, Steve decided Loki wasn't a threat. He left for the outside world three days ago. When he returned he brought some important news with him.

///

"You're no longer wanted," Captain blurted out. Loki thought he misheard that. He was sure he misheard the whole thing. The feds no longer coming for him.

"Is this a joke?" Thor's voice was hoarse. His face unreadable.

"No," Steve shook his head, he leaned back a little against the cushion of the couch, one arm resting on the soft material. "The man turned himself in, so Loki's no longer convicted of whatever charges they pressed him with. And about New York massacre, if he wasn't himself back then, if Thanos forced him into attacking Earth, then you," Steve pointed at Thor, "have to be present at the preliminary hearing, tell the jury your brother was under duress. They'll listen." To Loki, Steve said, "you could be a freeman. Clean. Able to walk down the street. You could start over. No longer hiding away,"

And Loki was speechless. It sounded so easy. Too easy. He's been spending most parts of his life struggling day by day that a glimpse of hope, of solution that everything would be okay, seemed deadly, dangerous. One misstep and he could fall right in that trap where he'd never get back up, locked away in the deepest pit of Hel for the eternity or worse. He wasn't used to... good news.

No, there had to be something hidden. Something hideous.

"I talked to Natasha, the one you call Agent Romanoff, that you're not... a bad guy," Steve almost sounded smitten, like he wasn't used to complimenting Loki so openly. "And she talked to Nick Fury and Nick Fury talked to the government. And I think it's all good now,"

"I... don't know what to say," Loki admitted. "That you did all of this," there ought to be a for me at the end of the sentence, Loki caged it behind his teeth. The thought of someone doing something for him still sounded foreign in his mind, even if there were a lot of someone doing something for him lately.

(It first started at the back of Peter's school. If Peter - the someone - decided not to do something - to save him - Loki would be long dead.)

"Just did the right thing," Steve said as though he could read Loki's mind. "We were wrong about you. You're not a bad person, and so you deserve to be walking down the street without having to hide and live in fear,"

To that, Loki smiled.

"If all is good then the preliminary hearing is tomorrow. Don't be late,"

To that, Loki did not smile.

~~~

That night, Loki had an episode of panic attack where he vomited everything he ate into the toilet, shaking. Trembling. Weak. Pathetic. The last two sounded like Thanos speaking in his head, it caused him to vomit more even if there was no more coming out and he was just gagging on nothing.

"Loki," that was Thor's voice, coming from outside the locked door in which Thor also knocked on. "You all right?"

Loki wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and answered with a hoarse, "I'm fine." He hoped Thor failed to catch the wrongness in his voice, the way he tried desperately to hide the wave of overwhelming feelings washing over him like a strong tide pulling him under and he couldn't resurface.

He wasn't fine. He knew he should be fine, be happy and excited and full of joy that it all could end tomorrow. By tomorrow he wouldn't have to keep hiding anymore. But tomorrow was too soon. Loki wasn't ready. He wasn't sure if he would ever be ready to face the world. The possibility of them pointing fingers at him, labeling him a monster and throwing him behind bars, made him feel like he was drowning.