My Best Friend's the God of Mischief // Peter x Loki

if I go, I'm goin'

Peter continued dealing with the Loki Situation, or to be more precise, he tried to persuade one of his friends to deal with the Loki Situation while he would supervise from distance. 

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Another update! It'a kinda short (apologise in advance) but I wanted to get something posted so I didn't keep you guys waiting for too long. There're more to come. I appreciate you all for being so patient. Don't be shy to leave your comment, feedback, how you think about the chapter. Seeing your comment motivates me to write faster.

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"Dude," Ned said, for the fifteenth time. "I'm not doing this. This is crazy. You're crazy for taking the.... the original Loki, whatever, to your home from the school's dumpster that day. I'm not crazy. I'm not gonna babysit this... other Loki for you!" He whisper-yelled. The Loki in question was already here in Ned's room in Ned's house, and they were discussing the matter in the very same room only a couple feet away. 

Ned looked at his supposedly houseguest again; the man was sitting on his bed, apparently examining the slide of pizza -- leftover -- on Ned's bed, it'd been there since last week, and it seemed Loki had decided the thing was disgusting by scrunching up his face and drawing his knees close to his chest, like he was trying to create as much spaces between him and the thing as possible.

"Dude, come on!" Peter continued. "I can't have him in the Avengers compound. There're too many people, and they can't see him. Not now. They'd freak out and he'd freak out and Mister Other Loki, my friend, would freak out, too. I can't have everybody freaking out."

"So rent him a motel room or something,"

"I can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because he needs to be supervised," Peter lowered his voice.

"You do realise I can hear you both pretty clearly, right?" Loki interrupted, and Peter gave him that look of disapproval like the look a parent would give a child who interrupted its mom who was talking to her friend she accidentally ran into at a supermarket. 

Then he turned to look at Ned again, "You're the only one I trust!"

"I am not keeping a homicidal god in my room, dude. This is the Loki who killed 80 people in two days and tried to enslave mankind. I am not babysitting him!"

Loki rolled his eyes. At least Ned wasn't the only one who didn't like this situation at all. He considered bolting, he still had the Tesseract, but the problem was he didn't know if where the Tesseract would next take him would be worse than this. At least here he was dealing with two children -- two very annoying children in a version of existence where his other self was so smitten by the Captain America, but it could be worse. He could always just kill the kid and escape anytime, anyway. Better than being locked in some dungeons with a shock collar on.

Peter sighed. "Okay, fine. Keep him and you can have the first issue of Batman."

"What?" Ned blinked. "You told me it was all sold out. You told me you didn't have --"

"I lied, all right? Just... keep him and the book's all yours."

"Son of a..."

"So we have a deal?"

"You both are the most annoying creature," Loki interrupted again.

"Shh," Peter shushed the god. "I'm negotiating here." He earned the eyes roll from Loki in which Peter decided to let it slide. "I can't take care of two Loki's," he added, to Ned.

"The thing is, Peter, you shouldn't even have had to take care of a Loki in the first place, if you listened to me."

"What? Mister Loki is nice, not you, the other Loki," he turned to the Loki on Ned's bed, then back to Ned. "I don't regret saving him. And I think you should give this Loki a chance, too. You two could be besties."

"You are my freaking bestie. I don't need a homicidal god who killed 80 people in two days and tried to enslave mankind to be my bestie."

"Dude, he was mind-controlled."

"I still feel like murdering someone though," Loki spoke. Just to mess with the kids' heads, and if Ned seemed suddenly pale, Peter just shrugged it off by rolling his eyes. They weren't actually having a good time here.

Ned sighed loudly. "He's not a pet I can keep a secret from my nana. Plus she could have a heart attack, if she saw him. She's like 90."

"I'm 1,080" Loki said, voice flat.

Ned glanced at him, then back at Peter. "Maybe you should take him to a retirement home,"

"What is that?" Loki asked, but judged by his tone, he liked it less than being here.

"Never mind," Peter said to the god. Then to Ned, "I'm not taking him to a place full of old people, are you insane?"

"No, you are insane. This is crazy. This whole thing is crazy."

"I agree," Loki said. Ned replied with a, "Thank you," then to Peter he said, "See? Even Mister Crazy says it's crazy."

Peter rolled his eyes again. He shot Loki the 'you're-not-helping' look, then back to Ned. "The Batman issue,"

"You're not doing this," Ned said, he sounded pissed, but slightly persuaded.

"I am doing this right now. It's awesome, by the way. Read every page of it."

"You can't just manipulate me like this, dude. You can't just try to sell a Loki to me for free then still offer me a comic book like, I don't know, like  some everything-must-go sale where they basically shove their goods in people's hands." Ned's voice was off-key high. And if Loki had to admit, he started to find the whole thing amusing.

"So you don't want the book?"

"Of course, I want the damn book."

"It comes with him," Peter nodded to Loki's direction. Loki gave Ned a little wave, as they were both looking at him, and if Peter thought it was kinda adorable -- like his Loki -- Ned obviously shared a different belief.

"What if he eats nana's cat?" Ned asked. "Like in Stranger Things where that cute little tadpole turned out not to be a cute little tadpole but a whole ass Demodog who ate cats and humans for breakfast. I mean he did try to take over earth, too." 

"Dude, he's not going to eat your nana's freaking cat!"

"I can't promise that," Loki said, just because it was kinda hilarious to see the spooked-look on the kid's face. Ned, is it? 

Loki thought, even if he'd never admit, he started to like the kid. He was... tolerable. Annoying but tolerable.

"He's not going to eat your nana's cat," Peter said, he sounded tried and done.

"All right, dude, fine! Fine, he can stay."

"Thank you," Peter huffed an air out, relieved. 

"Whatever. I'm getting that Batman issue,"

"Of course, dude, of course,"

Loki watched. Now he was... confused. "So... that's it? So that means I am stuck with a pathetic mortal who has expired food and stinky socks and underwear everywhere on his bed?"

"Hey," Ned protested. "Better than jail, all right?"

"Or I could just bolt," Loki challenged. Watching the two kids was fun and all, but overall, he wasn't really having a good time being dragged here and there like he was, like the chubby kid had put it, a pet. (No one was having a good time here, to be exact)

"You're not gonna do that," Peter said matter-of-factly.

"And why won't I?" Loki narrowed his eyes.

"Because I also know you. And if you were going to bolt, you would've already done it."

Loki opened his mouth then closed it. He didn't know if he should direct his resentment at the kid or at his other self for having gone... soft. He ended up murmuring something to himself, probably a curse in Asgardian. 

Ned looked at him, then at Peter, then back at Loki again. "So..." He trailed off, "No eating nana's cat, that's the rule."

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