Scrub | Sope

8

it was around eleven at night and hoseok was quietly opening up the door to his house, silently praying that namjoon had gone to sleep.

he simply couldn't face him.

but of course, with his luck, namjoon was sprawled out on their couch, watching some sort of action movie.

tears returned to his eyes at the thought of telling namjoon what happened. he didn't want to. he couldn't do it.

"hoseok!" namjoon said, standing up from the couch and walking quickly over to him, "how was work?"

namjoon leaned in for a hug, which hoseok gladly accepted, needing comfort more than anything in that moment.

"g-good," hoseok choked out, quickly wiping the tear that streamed down his face, not wanting namjoon to see.

he pulled away from joon and stood up straight, looking down.

"that's good. you think you'll end up staying and working there?"

"i-"

the truth was, hoseok had no idea what he was going to do. he knew any smart person would probably quit and never go back, but for some reason, the idea was hard for him to even think about. he needed the money. he needed it. and, even aside from the money, hoseok had gotten heavily caught up in what his boss had said to him. he had been thinking about it the whole day. he wondered if he could be right. was he only good for sex? was he... unattractive? was yoongi just using him to get him into bed? hoseok didn't know. but the more he thought about his boss's cold voice telling him how unappealing he was, the more he started to believe it himself.

and if yoongi didn't really care about him, who did he have? who would be there for him?

"i- uhm... yes. i should be fine working there."

"that's great! i'm going to order some pizza to celebrate. on me."

"t-thanks, joonie. i'm gonna go change."

the rest of the night was filled with loud movies and hoseok's fake smiles. when around two in the morning hit, hoseok said that he was tired and needed to go to bed.

hoseok honestly craved sleep so bad. he just wanted to shut his eyes and not have to think about what was bothering him so much. he just wanted to forget it.

but it was getting a lot harder when millions of thoughts filled his head.

why didn't i scream?

why didn't i kick him and run?

why didn't i stand up for myself?

why didn't i tell jungkook?

why didn't i tell joon?

and why, why am i going back?

the whole 'going to bed' thing was completely pointless in the end because hoseok didn't even get a lick of sleep that night. there was far too much anxiety eating him alive in the pit of his stomach.

-

the next morning, hoseok crawled out of bed to check his phone, curious to see if anyone texted him.

yoongi
hey
did that boy with the brown hair end
up giving you that thing i left for you?

hoseok's immediate reaction was to smile, even laugh a little. but then he was immediately hit with the memory of his boss talking to him, burned into his brain.

you don't honestly think he could like you, right? i mean... look at you. sure, you've got a nice body, but no one would ever want to be with you romantically. you would really only be suitable for sex. a pump and dump. that's all you are, hoseok. once he's done, he'll throw you away.