Nerd-Alert {Muke}

39 - Denial

When your time comes to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song, and die like a hero going home. ~Tecumseh

Luke's POV

I walked into school that morning with Michael and we immediately head to Vanessa's locker. I was worried for her, she seemed so worn down from the weeks events.

When we turned the corner there was no Vanessa. Just Natalie.

"Where's Vanessa?" I snarled as I walked up to her.

"I don't know." Natalie scoffed. "She hasn't been here all morning."

"But..Vanessa is always here early." Michael turned to me.

"Yeah I know. I've been waiting for like forty-five minutes." Natalie sighed.

"Maybe she's late." Michael mumbles.

"Pardon me," A man with a large brown box said as he tried to step between us. With a key he opened Vanessa's locker.

"That's Vanessa's older brother, Jason." Michael whispered to me.

"Um, pardon me good sir." I said, my voice shaking slightly. "Do you happen to know Vanessa's location?"

"You are?"

"Luke Hemmings."

"Here, this was for you." He dug around in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper before passing it to me. "Here Michael." He handed Michael one as well. "Now if you would please excuse me, I have to clean out my sister's locker."

"Okay." I nodded and walked away. Natalie following close behind.

"Huh, I didn't know Vanessa was moving." Natalie said.

"I don't think she is." I said quietly. "Michael, we need to find everyone."

"I'll text them to meet outside by the tree." Michael said.

"In the snow!?" Natalie gasped.

"You're not invited!" Michael snapped.

"Yes she is." I sighed. "Just be out there in five minutes." I ran out of the school building and towards the tree. My feet were soaking with the snow.

"What do you think is going on?" Natalie asked.

"Shut up." I snapped.

"Look Luke, you don't need to be such a jerk." Natalie scoffed.

"Look Natalie, I really could care less." I sighed as I saw everyone walking over towards me.

"Luke all my paper says is 'I'm sorry Michael' written across the whole thing." Michael said as he showed the paper to me.

"'I'm sorry'?" Terri gave an odd look. "Luke, what's your paper say?"

"I haven't locked my eyes on it, yet." I said as I looked over the lined papers in my hand.

"Read it." Ettie said.

"'Dearest Luke,'" I began. "'If you're reading this must have noticed that I'm missing. And I'm going to go ahead and guess curiosity has gotten the best of you. Well, Luke, it's a sad truth. I'm not coming back. The date being November twenty-eighth. I know this sounds really confusing, but I really don't know how to phrase it. Luke, I don't know what happened. I guess it all became too much for me. I had lost so much, everyone. My cruel acts chased away Michael, Terri, Winston and Calum. My soft nature got me outcasted by Natalie, Victor, Brandon and Darren. It was almost as if I couldn't win. Yet I sat on the side line watching your life go from nothing to everything. Watching you find your happiness, it seemed like I would never find happiness for me. It felt good to see that I hadn't ruined your life but instead my own. I made mistakes that could never be fixed, made poor decisions that couldn't be reversed. I'm ashamed to say I could only find one way out. I'm sorry Luke, I am so sorry. But you're invited to my funeral.'" The last words barely escaped my lips. "'Vanessa'.." I turned my head to Michael. "What is she trying to say, Michael?" My voice shook. "What happened?"

"Oh my gosh.." Terri said as she turned and cried into Winston. Write wrapped comforting arms around Calum's frozen body.

"Luke..I don't know.." Michael said.

"No.." I mumbled. "No what is she telling me!?"

"She's dead! She killed herself! That's what happened Luke, is that what you want to be told?" Ettie yelled at me.

"Ettie don't you dare yell at him!" Michael yelled.

"She's not dead..She's not!" I shook my head furiously.

"Luke open your eyes, read the note again. Vanessa is gone." Natalie sighed.

"You silence yourself!" I turned and yelled at her. "This is all your fault, look at what you did to her!"

"Luke stop." Michael said.

"She's gone! She won't come back and its all -"

"Luke!" Michael yelled as he grabbed me and pulled me away from the group. I thrashed and yelled obscure words in Michael's arms.

"Luke calm down!" Michael snapped.

"No, no no!" I said as I finally broke down in tears. "I-I can't believe she did it..It was always right there for me to see, I knew this would happen. I could've s-seen it a mile away if I tried h-harder."

"Luke this is not your fault. No one knew she would do this." Michael said softly.

"No..No.." I sobbed, falling onto my knees as Michael tried to hold me up. He eventually just gave in and wrapped his arms around me.

"Just try and breathe, baby." Michael said quietly into my ear. "Just focus on your breathing." I did what he suggested to me and tried to focus on my breathing, but there were so many questions left unanswered.

"Has he calmed down?" Ashton said as they walked over to us.

"Yeah, yeah I think so." Michael answered as I sniffled. I curled up in a ball on Michael's lap. He would often kiss the top of my head as he rubbed my back.

"Luke, I need to tell you something." Ashton said as he crouched in front of me.

"Okay, you may continue." I said quietly. Ashton dug around in his jeans pocket and pulled out a piece of paper with the letter on it.

"On the back Vanessa wrote something. One thing she wants of you." Ashton said. I took the paper and looked over it with Michael leaning over my shoulder.

"One last wish.." I mumbled at the paper. "I'll do it."

AUTHOR'S NOTIFICATION

So second to last chapter. You'll find out Vanessa's  wish in the next chapter which will be up later today. Okay? Alright.

Hugs, Kisses, Cuddles and Serenades xXx