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The days that followed Roses death were more like a dream. A dark and terrible dream.
The smell of charred body followed me wherever I went. The smell stayed in my hair, in my skin. The smell followed me in my sleep.
I would dream of Roses death every night. How she took her stand and refused to bow to the King. And then her death. The green flames that lit the room.
But in my dreams her death took forever. It stretched for an eternity before I could wake up. And when I do, I wake to the sounds of her angry screams and the burning smell. And that's when I empty the contents of my stomach from the night before.
No one could save me from this hell that I lived in. Ser Oswell surely was having a jolly good time on Dragonstone. And Rhaegar would surely be oblivious to the happenings of court. And if he did know of what was happening he was staying holed up in his castle.
My parents of course knew. That's why they separated their children to different lords. They feared that my grandfather would take another one of my siblings. But they couldn't start a war without provocation. The rest of the seven kingdoms would unite with the king. And then that would be a sure and swift defeat of the north.
And the Kingsguard? The Kingsguard protected the Kings family. But did nothing to protect us from the King.
They do nothing but merely stand idly by as the King takes by force my grandmother, Queen Rhaella every night. The King has his own family as hostage.
The only way I can escape this hell is by marriage. Once I'm married I'm under the protection of my husband and his house. The King would not be able to hold me hostage then.
And after staying up countless nights. To try and see which house was powerful enough to stand up to the King. Which house held that type of fear? What house held enough power that even the King would think twice about coming after?
The Lannister's.
Of course. Who would dare and try to insult the great house of Lannister when Lord Tywin was there. He wouldn't allow any type of ridicule towards his family members.
I could have been a Lannister. I was promised to Jaime, I was to become his wife many moons ago. My chance to escape this purgatory was within my grasp. If only he wasn't offered to become a part of the Kingsguard. And only if he wouldn't have accepted.
It wasn't his fault. Who could say no to the King? Especially one who had one foot dipped into the pool of insanity and the other foot following closely behind.
No. It was not Jaime's fault. But yet I couldn't help the anger that I felt. I was angry at the King because he offered Jaime the position of Kingsguard. And I was angry at Jaime for accepting.
But Jaime did not call me out on my temper. He said nothing of my curt responses. Or the way that I constantly paced around the secret garden. He said nothing as I continuously balled my fists up. Nor of the steady stream of tears flowing down my cheeks.
