New Avenger (A Steve Rogers love story)

We Need to Talk

Steve led me to the kitchen. I found an apple and started eating it, starving. Steve smiled as I very quickly finished the apple. 

"How did you sleep the other night? After the nightmare?" Steve asked.

I briefly looked at him, then turned toward the garbage, avoiding eye contact as I threw the apple core away. "Fine."

"Why did you way that I wasn't safe?"

I looked at Steve. "Why are you bringing this up now?"

"I didn't think you'd want to talk about it for a while."

"And you're right. I don't want to talk about it. Ever."

"Alexx, am I safe? Or is something or someone coming for me?" Steve pressed.

"You're safe." I sighed.

I started to leave the room, but Steve grabbed my wrist, stopping me. "Where are you going?" Steve asked.

"Practice." 

Steve nodded and let go of me, following me to the elevator. I had to take my mind off of the horrible nightmare I had about Steve, about what I was. I couldn't kill Steve, not after everything we've been through. Not after realizing how I felt about him.

I needed to talk to someone, tell them what I had been told. Ryan was still gone, I couldn't talk to him. I definitely couldn't talk to Steve, he'd get rid of me.

I had become good friends with Nat, I could talk to her. 

"JARVIS?" I asked.

"How may I assist you, Miss Monroe?" JARVIS' voice rang out. It was odd having an AI throughout the entire tower.

"Could you tell Bruce I'm going to practice?" I asked.

"Of course, Miss Monroe."

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Steve and I walked to the giant room I was allowed to practice in.

I went to the changing room and changed into a special made sports bra that accommodated my wings, athletic shorts and running shoes.

As I stretched, Steve sat on a bench and Bruce walked into the room with a tripod and a camera.

"You're ready to practice already?" Bruce asked.

"Yeah, might as well." I shrugged.

I crouched in the center of the room and spread my wings, waiting for Bruce to say go. When he did, I flapped hard, trying to get myself up into the air. I finally got into the air, and I was able to move. I couldn't believe it, I was actually flying. Not very gracefully, but I was still doing the impossible.

I flew a few yards, adrenaline pumping through my veins. The image of Steve's body from my dream suddenly flashed through my mind and I lost control, flipping so that my back was aiming for the wall I was flying toward, and I slammed into the wall. I bounced off and fell to the ground in pain. 

"Damn it..." I groaned.

"Are you okay, Alexx?" Steve asked, rushing to me.

I nodded and held my hand out, signaling I didn't need help. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Bruce came to me as well. "Maybe you shouldn't fly. You seem...distracted." 

Steve's dead body came back into my mind, accompanied by a headache. "Yeah, that's a good idea..."

"Hey, you're bleeding." Steve pointed to my cheek. 

"It's fine, I'll live." 

Steve pulled his sleeve over his hand and gently dabbed my cheek, making it sting, and I winced.

"Ow! Steve, stop!" I pushed him away.

Steve knelt beside me and stayed close in front of me, dabbing my cheek and cleaning away the blood. I couldn't help but blush with him being so close to me. 

"Steve, please stop. Your sleeve is covered in enough blood. Go change, and I'm just going to my room." I sighed.

"Alexx, let me help you." Steve said.

I shook my head and stood up, leaving Steve and Bruce. I went to the elevator and went back to my room, properly cleaning up the small cut on my cheek.

Once I was finished, I made my way to Nat's room. I knocked on her bedroom door and waited for an answer. Once she answered, I gave her a sad smile. 

"We need to talk." I whispered.

Nat nodded and let me into her room. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and led me to her bed, letting me sit down. 

"What's wrong, Alexx?" Nat asked.

"Before I went down to replace the targeting disc in the helicarrier, I ran into a woman from HYDRA." I looked into Nat's eyes. "I knew her."

I then told Nat everything; that I once was HYDRA, that I was a winter soldier, made specifically to eliminate Steve. Then, I told her about my dream. I told her how I had killed Steve with no emotions at all, tears spilling from my eyes.

"Nat, I was made specifically to kill him. That was my main purpose. And ever since the helicarriers, my mind has been telling me to do it, to finish the mission. I don't want to hurt him, or anyone. I can't be HYDRA. I can't hurt Steve, I...I love him." I cried into my hands.

Nat sat beside me, her arm over my shoulders as she hugged me close. "You won't hurt anyone. You aren't HYDRA. You didn't even know about it until Ashley told you." 

"Why did she have to be on that stupid boat? It's because of Ashley I remember anything. It's because of her that Steve's life is in danger when I'm around." 

"No, Alexx. You are much stronger than you were then, you have so much more than you did then. You have an actual family, you have powers you never had, you have a love life." Nat looked me in the eyes.

"W-What?" I became confused by the last part.

"What do you mean 'what'? You told me you love Steve. Do you remember how long I've been trying to get him a date?"

"Y-Yeah, but...why are you bringing that up?"

"You said you love Steve, did you not?" 

"I don't know, I said a lot of things. Did I really blurt that out? Oh no, what if he heard? Do I love him? What if he doesn't love me? What if --"

"Alexx!" Nat stood up and grabbed my shoulders, holding me tightly. "You need to calm down. Everything is fine, you're not going to hurt anyone, you're in control of your own brain. You don't have to listen to what they had programmed into you. It's no longer relevant."

I looked at her, scared. "I...I don't think it's that easy.

"It's not." Nat made me stand up. "Of course it's not easy. But you are strong enough to fight it."

I shook my head, tears streaming down my face. "I'm not."