Drunk Texting | T. Drake ✔

[07]

***

[ T<•> I ]

T: I'm not working in Irina Luthor's department anymore.

I: why?

T: she gave me a promotion.

I: congratulations, Timmy. When are we going to celebrate?

T: that's another way of saying that she kicked me out.

I: aw, are you pissed about that?

T: I don't really know. I liked working with her. Besides, the second Lex Luthor finds out that I'm working in their think tank now, he'll kick me out himself.

I: he won't.

T: he will. He must have set up a no Wayne intruders allowed policy as of now.

I: oh no, he hasn't.

I: besides, his daughter will keep you in her department again if that happens.

T: and how can you be so certain?

I: because I have a third eye which can see into the future.

***

I: you're not wearing turtlenecks anymore.

T: because I don't have to now.

I: so I take it that the hickeys have faded by now.

T: yup.

I: though you can have them all over again anytime you want.

T: Ren!

I: are you blushing?

T: oh yes he is, he's gone a full tomato red.

I: and who might you be?

T: sorry, Jason snatched my phone for a bit.

T: and no I'm not blushing.

I: stop lying, Timbelina.

I: Jason has already told me what I wanted to know.

***

T: where have you been these days?

I: too busy saving other people.

T: but I thought the Bats were sufficient for that.

I: look here, Timmy, there are roughly around seven to eight vigilantes who operate under Batman and they have to cover the whole of Gotham which is pretty absurd if you ask me.

T: but at least they are eight and you're on your own.

I: exactly. I leave the major part to them. For instance, let's suppose that Joker decides to blow up a club, no problem they will deal with it. They will beat down the ruckus and send the maniac off to Arkham, I don't have to go budging in there at all. Meanwhile I will just see to it that the common people get to safety and are not harmed in the whole giant fight which will occur between the Bats and the lunatic.

T: oh...

T: that's very clever actually.

I: glad you noticed.

T: no really, why had I never thought of that before?

I: because you were too busy trying to breath in that turtleneck of yours.

T: hey!

I: you looked horrible in them, Tim, a complete fashion disaster.

T: now that you've put it so eloquently, I can't help but notice that you sound exactly like Jason right now.