Drunk Texting | T. Drake ✔

[19]

***

[ T <•> I ]

I: do you honestly never get tired of all this ridiculous shit that happens among you people?

T: we won't be the Waynes if we got tired of this.

T: for us, it is normal.

I: you guys have the weirdest family ever.

T: appreciate the compliment.

***

T: I don't even remember when was the last time I actually had fun.

I: you wanna try out something fun tonight?

T: for instance?

I: meet me at the rooftop at ten and I'll show you.

***

T: when I had said fun, I hadn't meant throwing rotten eggs at the press.

I: but you can't deny that; it was absolutely hilarious.

T: I just hope no one saw us.

I: I know no one did.

I: I have been planning this for days. And it feels so fucking good to give the asshats the treats they rightfully deserve.

***

T: though where did you get such a lot of rotten eggs?

I: I have my sources.

T: what sources?

I: Red Hood.

T: excuse me? Red Hood? 

I: yeah, Red Hood. 

T: you've got to be kidding me.

I: of course not. He's excellent at smuggling any thing of any sort whatsoever. Just name it and give him fifteen minutes. Easy as that.

T: but you do know that's illegal, right?

I: nobody wanted those rotten eggs in the first place.

I: stealing something which will go to waste otherwise is not as horrible.

T: I'm sorry, Ren, but vandalism is still a crime.

I: vandalism? Holy fuck, Tim, are you high? Of course that's not vandalism or shop lifting or whatever new accusation you have up your sleeve.

I: next time do not accompany me if you have to give me a lecture on legal codes later, you understand!

T: hey, I hadn't meant it like that!

***

T: you're still angry at me...?

T: Ren?

T: I'm sorry, I...

***

I: I forgive you.

T: I nearly died and all you're saying is I forgive you?

I: stop being such a hopeless romantic, princess. You and me both know you liked it.

I: plus, no one dies from an unexpected kiss.

T: well...

T: don't you think getting a heart attack is a very obvious reason of dying too?

I: why would you have a heart attack?

T: because I was not expecting you to be there at that time.

I: you really have to start being at least a little more aware of your surroundings. That's exactly why you get abducted so often.