HATE? REALLY

HR 53: THE BEGINNING OF AN END

Laksh was adjusting the tie looking at his image in the mirror. He watched the time on the wall clock. He just had five minutes to leave.

"Laksh..." he groaned internally hearing her voice. Of course his wife had great timing. He stretched his lips to smile forcefully. Swara was all smiles when she looked at him. Laksh wondered what might be the reason for her happiness suddenly. One less minute. Internally he was freaking out.

"I am so happy" she hugged him and her baby bump stayed in between them and Laksh was already thankful to his unborn child for not letting him get suffocated by its mother.

"I wonder what made you so happy this morning wifey" he brought her out of the hug giving a weak smile. "You are so damn busy Laksh. You missed the first scan of our baby yesterday. The doctor said the baby is good and healthy" she squealed happy. Laksh's eyes lit up hearing it. "That's a great news. But you know now the whole responsibility of the company is on my head and I am struggling underneath it to even breath" he said acting tired.

"Are you okay Laksh?" she asked concerned. "I am fine. And I have to hurry up now getting late for a meeting" he kissed her forehead and walked towards the door. Swara sat on the pouting and Laksh left a breath of sigh as he closed the room door behind him. "Argh.. why is she so clingy" he set his dress and hair again and quickened his steps. As he rushed down the stairs he glanced at his watch and his eyes boggled out. He is gonna be late.

"Laksh... breakfast" Annapurna called. "I will have in the office maa" he replied and walked to the exit. Annapurna nodded her head and her eyes landed on Sujatha who was lifelessly staring her food. How will a mother even think of surviving when all she has nobody. Annapurna walked and sat beside Sujata and she looked around startled searching for someone. Probably any one of her kid. But reality hit her and a drop flew down her cheek. She inhaled a sharp breath looking at her plate again.

"Jeeji" she hugged Annapurna for strength and let out some more tears. Nothing was helping to reduce her feeling of hollowness. Annapurna could just rub her shoulder to calm her for the moment. But she knew as soon as the memory flashes again she will be a weeping mess one more time.

You cannot feel the pain of a person who has lost someone. Specially a mother who lost her child. More than anyone else she gets affected. It feels like her soul has been ripped out and burnt. It feels like there is this black hole which is sucking her life slowly. Never ending sorrow, never stopping tears, the whole body feeling sore and feeling like you lost all the hope. That what was left with her.

Sanskar flinched in his place as a wave of sadness hit him. Though he was miles away from his mother he could still feel her tears and it only worsened because he was not even able to witness it. He snapped out and looked at the laptop screen where some pie chart lied and he temporarily had no idea what was it for.

He did not wanted to come out of his home for the same reason. He was not in his right senses to concentrate on anything. But his wife was too stubborn to let him face the world which had no idea of his loss.

Every morning he sat in his bed fighting her not to force him she just made sure he did not stayed home cursing himself for a sin he never committed in her point of view. But for Sanskar he had killed his sister. He should have acted more sanely that night instead of losing his cool. His anger cost him his baby sister's life. He feared that the fire of his anger will snatch others also from him and he will left out alone.

He had sure felt the pang of loneliness years ago. And he hated it and now after being with the family and finding his true love again he sure had no courage to experience the pain again. He feared of losing. He feared of not his life but someone who was more than his dear life.