Even in a Million Years

Nine

Bailey

I couldn't sleep.

It'd gotten late, but I wasn't tired.

We finally called it a night once Ty passed out in the grass...some thing really do never change. I honestly can't believe he's a third grade teacher, seeing him makes me wonder what our teachers were really like outside of school.

I missed his dumbass.

I missed everyone in all honesty. It was an emotional day to say the least.

The fact I wasn't completely and utterly exhausted after the day I've had is beyond me.

I visited Jordan for the first time; I saw Co again and was reminded of the biggest fuck up of my life, hell this would be so much easier if he didn't look like a fucking god; I found out he was getting married, I just about broke down when I saw my best friend baby sister who just so happens to look exactly like her older brother-absolutely perfect, and I flinched when Co simply held his hand out to me-and then Proceeded to think about it and freak out the whole night thinking he'd noticed; and now I'm sitting on my balcony at four thirty in the morning feeling a complete loss of control.

I didn't know what to feel just yet, being back here.

I got to see my family again. My brothers and all my friends and even the Kazers. I didn't even realize how much I'd missed Arya until she just about tackled me into a hug and didn't let got for a good three minutes.

We all laughed again too. Everyone together, some additional bodies, but the rest was as same as it was when we were teenagers. 

Tyler and Wes were almost exactly the same as when we were kids. Tyler still drinking past his limit, Wes still telling him he's a dumbass every ten minutes.

Danny and Spence seemed to fit in well with everyone, especially dumb and dumber. Ty is amazing by Spencer and Wes and Danny just about laugh their asses off together at how the two interact. My brothers loved them too, I already knew that though. I even saw them talking and laughing with Co a few times tonight. And of course everyone absolutely adored Danielle, her and Ben became two little peas in a pod within the day we've been here, playing with dinosaurs, her Barbies and everything in between.

Everyone liked Bri too, despite her nerves. The only two she hasn't met out of the group was Lexi and Amy, but I know they'll love her just as much as Em, Arya and Lacey did.

The only new person I was unsure of was Liv. She seemed sweet at the bar earlier but she surely figured out who I was by the time of the party because the fake smile she sent my way when I greeted her did not fly under the radar. I wouldn't expect her to like me, I hurt Co, I wouldn't like me either if I were in her position.

"Kalanski? You in here?" I hear my best friends sleepy voice as he walks in my room.

"Out here,"

"Holy shit you had a whole ass balcony?" Danny grins as he steps out. Looking at the small space where I spent too many night.

"My favorite part of my room growing up," I match his grin "You have no idea how many times I snuck out and snuck people in,"

Usually it was Kazer who was coming in.

"I bet. How you feeling?" He questions and I just shrug.

I genuinely didn't know right now.

"You gotta talk Kalanski," he sits down in front of me.

"I know," I nod, "I just don't know what to say,"

Danny's always been like this, even moreso after what happened a few years ago, we all call him the therapist friend as a joke but it's true. He's always looked out for me.