Wilful Wife | ✓

Chapter 29 : Threshold

"We all have our threshold points. Beyond which, we lose control."

Jaanki composed herself before entering the room. "Stay out!" He muttered. He was removing his frustration on the punching bag. Jaanki quietly perched herself on the edge of the bed watching him. Neither said a word. Minute after minute passed. After a little longer than ten minutes his blows got sluggish. He held the bag before him.Jaanki looked on timidly as he glanced her way.

He walked over to her and stood before her. Jaanki had never before felt so nervous, in a fearful way, when he approached her. She tilted her head looking up at him. He snaked his arms around her pulling her head close to his. She quickly wrapped her arm around his waist. He stood between her legs, caressing her hair. "I am sorry."

"It's not your fault. So stop apologizing." She voiced, pressing her cheek against his abdomen. The little fear that was within her evaporated. She couldn't afford to lose him. He was her safe place. She couldn't let him not be that for her. Just like people need homes, souls needs one too. He was the home to her soul. 

"Jaanki, I am scared." He confessed.

"Of?" She asked softly not bothering to move away. She stayed in his embrace.

"Of myself." He breathed out, gently running his fingers through her hair. "I don't feel safe with myself." He voiced his vulnerability. Her arms instinctively got tighter around him. 

"I am with you." She mumbled wanting to be his knight in shining armor.

He scoffed. "I am scared, I will be the villain not just for myself but for us, for you. I am sick of the way I am around you. You deserve better, Jaanki." His chain of words ended with a deep sigh.

Jaanki gently pulled her face away to look up at him. "I deserve you. Nothing else."

He smiled stroking her cheek with his thumb. "You're very stubborn, aren't you?"

"Mmm, hmm, wilful. There's a difference, you know."

His lips curved up slightly, "I do." They let silence exist between them. After length, he finally spoke, "I have a suggestion, Jaanki."

"I am not going anywhere. Nor letting you." She quickly declared.

"Jaanki, please... You need to stop making me your world. You're not the Jaanki, I loved. You've become a vulnerable wife whose life starts and ends at her husband. You've forgotten how to live for yourself. You've forgotten how to love yourself, in loving me." He spoke stepping back looking at her.

"I am happy, that's all that matters." She muttered wondering if his words were true. She feared they may be.

"No. That's not how it's supposed to be. I think you should see a therapist too. Detach yourself from me. I want you to get over me, Jaanki. We have become pathetic with our emotions, totally opposite. I can't find it in myself to feel for you the way I used to, and you...you can't stop feeling so strongly for me. Things will get worse, Jaanki. Please...I can't control what's happening to me. But you...you can control your emotions, you need to.."