Chapter 31 : Unloose

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"No one can free you, but yourself."

Jaanki squinted her eyes open when she felt something burn on her arm. She straightened her back and realized she had slept off on the couch. Perhaps he had too. She saw him delicately tending to her wound. His handsome features had been marred with his agony and vulnerability. He glanced up at her. His eyes apologizing to her. 


Avinash woke up tired. He realized he had been asleep on the couch. His wife was snuggled against the couch too. He noticed her fingers still held his wrist. Tears formed in his eyes. Even in her sleep, she was worried about him. It pained to see her that way. She should realize that their relationship was becoming toxic. He glanced at her arm. It was smeared with dried blood. He tightened his jaw. He hated himself for it. 


While last night she was busy tending to his wounds he didn't even bother about hers. The ones he inflicted. He remembered how his biological father used to beat up him and his biological mother. He remembered the belt striking the skin. The cuts and the blood. He had always doubted whether he even belonged to that man, given his mother's generous associations with strangers. But, now he felt his doubts clear up. He was just like his biological father. He only caused people around him pain.


He quickly picked up the first aid box and kneeled on the carpet. Taking her arm into his hand he gently began cleaning her wound. She woke up to see him, she didn't say a word. He continued performing the task in hand. She hated him maybe. He had opened up his dirty past. Filth, he was that. He wanted this. But it was hurting so bad right now. After Daadi if anyone had loved him, it was her. She was all he had left. Now she would leave too. Would he survive without her? A small doubt sprouted in his mind.


"Thank you." She whispered once he was done. She raised her palm and caressed his cheek with her fingertips. 


"I should be the one saying Sorry. And I am.."


She shifted on the couch, leaning forward. Bt je quickly got to his feet forcing a smile. She narrowed her eyes at him getting on her feet. She stepped closer to him and he looked away. "I won't eat you." She joked stepping close. This time he didn't move back and looked at her. She was appalled to decipher nervousness written all over his face.


She stepped closer clutching his shirt in her fist. "Although, I wish I could eat you." She noticed the ghost of a smile linger around his lips. She hugged him stepping closer diminishing all the distance between them.


He needed this. He pulled her still closer. "If you think your past can change our future, you're mistaken. I won't leave you for anything." Her words were something his mind didn't want to hear. However, his heart rejoiced. She didn't care about where he came from or from whom. She just wanted him for what he was.


She pulled her face away from his chest to look at him. Her fingertips caressed his beard which was getting dense. She leaned closer brushing her lips over his, softly. His hands automatically reached her face and he was quick in deepened the kiss. Jaanki had no complaints. She let him have his way, responding to his need.


When he parted she smiled. "Trim your beard.." A grin eventually formed on his face as he nodded. He was about to walk away when she held his hand. "Where are you going?"


He looked at her slightly bewildered. "Washroom." He answered his grin growing wider.


Her cheeks heated up at her stupid question "Oh!"


When Avinash had gone for a bath while Jaanki was busy cleaning the kitchen. The pieces of glass reminded her of the night. She momentarily stated at them, there were a few that were smeared with blood. She couldn't say whether it was his or hers.


"Let me help!" His voice made her look upward. He crouched beside her.


"Avi, no." She mumbled panicking, holding back his hand to prevent him from going anywhere close to those pieces of glass. His gaze leveled to meet hers. He was taken aback to see the fear in those ever fearless eyes.


"I am okay, Jaanki." He spoke removing his hand from her grip.


"Just don't...I am doing it. You make breakfast." 


He sighed and proceeded to anyway pick up the pieces. 


"Avinash," She exclaimed pissed. 


"Jaanki, relax. I made this mess, so let me clean it up okay." He snapped. Jaanki silently continued to work  not saying anything more. Once done, she turned away. He regretted snapping at her. She was only concerned for him. He should seriously work on his communication skills when he was angry. He stepped behind her and hugged her from behind. She didn't resist but neither did she respond. He turned her slowly and tipped her chin up. 


"Sorry. This time it was totally my fault." He spoke softly kissing her forehead.


Jaanki took a deep breath and snuggled into him. "I was so scared, Avi. What if, something went wrong yesterday? I could have lost you. Do you realize how messed up that is?"


"I am sorry." He muttered pressing his lips against her forehead yet again. She pulled away looking at him. 


"It's getting harder, isn't it?" He asked softly. 


"You were never easy." She replied, a small smile beginning to bloom.


"Really?" He asked smiling. "I thought you said winning me was a cakewalk for you."


"Avi," she took a deep breath, her hands moving to cup his face. "Yesterday, you crossed level one. You let out your past. Don't you feel lighter after that? Didn't you trust me enough to confide in me?"


He looked away, she exhaled deeply pulling back her hand. If he was still uncomfortable talking about his past then she wouldn't force him. But he held her hands causing her to glance back at him. "I was scared. I didn't know how you would have reacted. But more than that, I didn't want my past to impact my life in any way."


She managed to smile at him. "Avi, this is what Yukta was talking about. Your repression. I think..."


"My past stays between us, Jaanki. No one else needs to know," he intervened, looking at her decisively.


"Okay." She accepted his decision kissing his hand. "Can we please make breakfast? I am starving!"

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-Anami! ♡

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