Harry Potter One Shots (Vol. I)

Behind the Mask (Tom Riddle)

It's been some time since we've had a one shot featuring Tom. 

And, just a couple of warnings - this one is on the darker side of anything I've written. Also, TRIGGER WARNING - mentions of sexual assault and abuse. There's nothing graphic but I felt like you needed to know 

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No matter how old I grew, or what I went through, I never changed. I reacted the same. Each time I was placed into an uncomfortable situation, I tried my very best to blend into the background and to hide away. Having long since learned just how disastrous the consequences of behaving in a different manner could be, I didn't want unnecessary attention on me. Lingering eyes and searching looks always scraped against my skin like sharpened talons and sometimes, absentmindedly, I'd lift the sleeve of my shirt expecting to find a physical sign of their gaze.

Right now, as I sat at the Slytherin table, I wanted nothing more than to run away. Hogwarts's great hall was as magnificent as I'd heard and yet, I had no chance to admire it. Not when I was too preoccupied with keeping my head lowered towards my untouched plate of food so I didn't accidentally catch eyes with those sitting around me. Those seated around me, dressed in green and silver, were naturally curious about me - they were wondering who the new student at their table was. It was strange for someone to start Hogwarts in their sixth year, even more so for that person to begin the year mere weeks before the summer term was drawing to a close and after exams had been completed. If I was in their position, I would've been as curious as they were.

But I wasn't in their position, I was in mine. And as someone in my position, and dealing with everything that I was trying my best to keep secret, I wanted to just hide away. The girls around me, who were quick to introduce themselves, were overjoyed to discover that I would be taking the empty bed in their dorm room. I had the sinking feeling that they wanted to be friends - whether their desire for my friendship was honest or whether they just wanted to know my backstory remained to be seen. The girls, my dormmates, were quick to learn and settled into their own conversation, leaving the opportunity for me to say anything at any point. I didn't speak a word. Instead, I continued to sit in silence with my hands gathered in my lap. They might've thought me odd, but they understood that I'd need some time to adjust. The last week had felt like a decade and I just needed time.

"Hitchens?" one of the girls called out softly, prompting me to look up. She returned my gaze with soft eyes and I searched her features, trying to remember the name she'd introduced herself with and nothing came to mind. That too would take some time. Thankfully she needed no response from me and instead gestured to my untouched plate, "Aren't you hungry? If you don't like the food we can always stop by the kitchens and get you something?"

"No thank you." Her eyebrows rose in surprise, actually surprised at getting a response from me. She didn't need to know that this situation had my stomach tied in knots and that anything I ate right now would come right back up within a matter of minutes. "I'm not really hungry."

The girl, who I was beginning to realise was perhaps the self-assigned maternal figure of the sixth year girl's, pursed her lips with concern. But, when she was drawn back into the conversation, she took a moment to insist that she was always free to talk whenever I wanted to. Only after I nodded did she turn towards one of the other girls.

As dinner wrapped up, my new dormmates had taken it upon themselves to show me to the common room. I declined their offer, and when they looked offended and maybe a little judgemental, I gestured towards the still occupied teacher's table at the top of the hall.

"I need to speak to the Headmaster," I said simply.

"We can wait -"

"Please don't." I softened my insistence with a faint smile that had them melting. It was the first one I'd given them. "I'm going to be a while. Please go back and relax. I'll meet you there."