Chapter Twenty Three

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'There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why.' - William Barclay

When Sebastian is at his meetings, I order alcohol and food for the day, video calling my boys once it arrives. We talk for hours and hours, all of them going to the bar to have a celebratory drink with me even though it is obscenely early for them. But they promised they would just stay in my place and honestly that makes me feel better. When I get back part of them will be there too.

Gabriel only makes a short appearance, telling me he has to take Roary to the vet but assuring me he's fine. Based on the looks the boys didn't manage to hide sharing I assume he is lying. It hurts slightly that he is holding something back but I can't really say anything, I'd be a bit of a hypocrite.

Either way I get to spend the day in bed with my boys, at least in some way, and that is exactly what I would be doing if I was there, except with a special appearance from Lilly. To be honest, right now I miss the small things. Checking under the tables for gum, checking the toilet paper isn't running too low. I miss everything about being home. Maybe I can see Adam at the distillery again, at least I was happy there.

Half an hour after I say goodbye to the boys and I have a shower I get a text from Sebastian saying he will be out for drinks and will be back late. He doesn't invite me so I just text him back saying I'm going out anyway, letting my phone charge as I get dressed to wait for his answer.

I try to look good, tight jeans to excuse the flowy black top hiding the food baby I am still carrying. I do my makeup surprisingly flawlessly, diffusing my hair so the curls are free to actually curl, instead of being put in a bun. I look really good, if only my eyes were happy.

I walk around, trying to find a bar that I would find comfortable enough to be in. It takes a while but when I see the neon baby pink lights, I feel the life sparkle back into my eyes. I giggle and walk quickly to the bar where a drunk couple, both in dark clothes, both probably just turned twenty-one, singing Seventeen from Heathers on a small karaoke stage.

"Whiskey, please." I ask the barman as I sit down, watching them, and the people also watching. They don't really care about the music, but they appreciate it in a casual way. It's nice, even if the couple on stage are beyond cheesy. They are happy, dramatic, but happy. And they are in love. It's a beautiful thing to see.

"Are you going to sing?" Sebastian asks, paying for my drink from behind me. My stomach drops slightly but I cling onto the happiness I felt just a moment ago to survive.

"No." I say, taking a long sip of my whiskey.

"You should." He tells me, standing beside me with his hands in his suit pockets.

"I don't want to." I say, looking at the stage as I watch the same couple sing You Matter To Me from Waitress.

"Well no, not this music, something you like." He says reassuringly.

"These are from musicals." I say. "You know I love musicals." I add, frowning as I look up at him. He chuckles and shrugs.

"Yeah I was just teasing." He says, but I'm not convinced. "You okay? You still seem annoyed at me."

"I am." I mumble, unsure whether or not to tell him why. Maybe he doesn't deserve to know, maybe it doesn't matter. "I thought you were out for drinks with your work friends, I didn't think it would be over so soon." I say, loud enough for him to hear.

"Yeah, I just wasn't feeling alcohol tonight." He says, putting his hand on his stomach, making me giggle slightly. He smiles and moves his hand to wrap his arm around me but he doesn't, he just rests his hand on the bar beside me. "Can we go back to the hotel? I want to hold you." He whispers in my ear. I smile and shot the rest of my whiskey before standing up and walking a few steps to the street. We get a cab back to the hotel and once in the room he kisses me.

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