Chapter 38: "Mrs Bishop they're ready for you."

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It was as if we were back where we started. I feel the pull of my hair and the soft bristles of brushes along my face as I look straight ahead into the highly lit vanity. The makeup artist and hairstylist moved skillfully around me, moving harmoniously like a well-oiled machine as they worked in conjunction with one another. Both of them pretended as if they didn't see the pain lying beneath the layers of my eyes.

I was sat in that chair with the tears pooling in my eyes as I tried to hold them back. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to do this but I knew I had to. But what if Tobias saw this? What if he saw me lying on national television about my 'love' for Chase? 

I couldn't even look them in their eyes but I knew I could feel the silent conversations between them as they paused what they were doing every so often.

They were just doing their jobs, what they were paid to do and as much as I wanted to give in to the norm of the hairstylist being a therapist for her client, I couldn't. I couldn't talk to anyone about how I felt.

The only person I wanted to tell, I couldn't even contact and that's what hurts the most. I had to pretend that Tobias didn't mean the absolute world to me in every aspect of my life and it hurt, it hurt to the core.

I shut my eyes tightly feeling the tears almost spill over but I just couldn't let them knowing I would feel the earth-shattering heartache hit me all over again. I couldn't give that man the satisfaction today, he didn't deserve it, he didn't today. He didn't deserve it ever.

I just had to remember what I was doing this for and who I was doing this for. It hurt so deeply but I had to remember the light at the end of my never-ending dark tunnel. And his name was Tobias Wrexler.

I watched visions of Tobias' beautiful smile in my mind, I watched him laugh as if he was in slow motion. We were together in each other's arms and it was beautiful. I felt the tears fall as I looked back at the happy times, all of the beautiful memories we made together, things I will never forget and never ever want to. I watched them as if they were a trailer of our life to come and it hurt even more. 

I wanted him and only him but that wasn't possible because of the devil who wanted nothing more than to hurt me. I held everything inside not allowing that man to get the satisfaction of hurting me day in and day out.

I couldn't keep doing this, I couldn't keep letting him chip away at everything I had left because there would be nothing left to give Tobias. 

Chase wanted to take away all of what I am, everything that Tobias deserves. Tobias deserved the world and he deserved all of me. Chase would never get the one thing that mattered the most to him, my heart. He could take away everything else, even the control of my life but he would never have my heart, that was reserved for Tobias Wrexler only.

I felt a tissue being dabbed along my eyes and finally, the makeup artists voice began to ring through. "Sweetie, try not to cry, it will ruin your makeup."

"Sorry." As if on autopilot I apologised, shaking off all the feelings I felt from her words. I apologised just like I did when my mother spewed her poison and immediately I felt myself cower into the shell of the woman I am today.

And I couldn't help the darkness begin to cloud my mind. I knew they were looking at each other once more before the makeup artist sunk lower to be in my line of sight. She looked at me sympathetically. "Are you okay, Monroe?"

Was I okay? No, I won't ever be okay until I'm back in the safety of Tobias' arms.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm so sorry, I'm just nervous. I've never done this before." I lied through my teeth, beginning the transition into the woman I was forced to act as today, I was playing the role of the perfect wife with a perfect husband who was her whole world.

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