"They say the most beautiful smile hides the darkest secrets." he says ruefully.
Looking at her now, knowing the truth, his heart simmers with guilt. The hatred he had grown to home towards her, now withering away like the sand falling from one's f...
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The sun kept on its gleaming, painting the canvas of the sky a bright shade of caramel yellow. It absolutely was warm and he regretted wearing the black leather jacket.
Jeongguk didn't expect the sun to be this bright here, but again there have been a dozen things he didn't expect -happening to him. The engine goes off and the drumming in his chest soars higher. Apprehension would be a real understatement to describe his feelings, given that neither does he attempt to get off the bike and walk towards the gates nor does he want to. The constant complaining voice in the back of his head nags back at him. The truth, the reality he ought to face despite him abhorring it.
"It isn't a big deal," His father had declared. But it was. For him, it had been the second hardest decisions he'd to make in his life. And though miniscule, the history of him making hard decisions never turned out to be so appealing. They left him searing with guilt.
"It isn't a big deal. You will adjust in no time." His father's words ricochet in his ears as he climbs off the bike and stares at the building before him.
There was a flood of students chattering and laughing as they sauntered inside the building. It piqued him how those students were so carefree to go inside, as if that's what they woke up enthusiastically every day for. While there was him, dreading every step he took towards the doors. It wasn't about adjusting to the new school or the new city, it wasn't about making new friends and getting used to a new life.
That, materialism, was not a big deal for him. It was the life, he had to leave behind in order to survive here that petrified him. It was leaving behind the memories- the dearest ones, the house he grew up in. It was leaving behind the remains of what didn't exist anymore that made his heart churn. The thought of moving on from something- irked him. He felt lost and betrayed when his parents had mentioned about moving to Korea.
The country wasn't the problem, the new school wasn't the trouble, but the fact of leaving behind his home, the sanctuary he and his brother had made so many memories in, caused a great trouble for him. And it all came crumpling down when they, his parents, had sold the house. An exasperated sigh, a dreaded heartbeat and a thousand memories lived in a yonder land escape his body.
He took another heavy step forward, studying the infrastructure, cleverly avoiding eye contact with any soul that passed by, and made it inside the building. He didn't hate new beginnings. He just couldn't help but not like this one. Not when he knew what expense it came at. Pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket, he looked at it. With a constant frown and blue spirit, he walked down the alien hallways on the second floor and finally found the destination.
He looked back at the piece of paper in his hand and read the list of books one more time, which only deteriorated his mood further. He then glanced around the enormous library, one which he didn't understand that why was it a three-storey. The place seemed deserted. The only companion he could seek for was the never ending book shelves. Alas, he never found solace in the books, though. The library was immense and uncannily silent.
