𝑴𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒉é𝒓𝒊 || JJK (Editing)

2: Solitude or Loneliness

Janice*

This summer break was the worst ever.

Back then , when I used to be with my maa alone I was so damn happy . Away from all the chaos and idiotic avaricious people.
I was happier without a father but now when I have one I wish I could remove his existence.

Though people say, 21st century is run by brain power but how wrong they are, this brain power is totally engulfed by the lust of money.

Losing an integral part of mine , I don't think I will be here longer. But I do hope to get back what I lost.

The school is the only time time when I can be at a little peace , still there are things which are haunting me like an eagle keeping an eye on it's prey from high afar.

Grabbing my books from the locker I got into my literature class. There is nothing in this world that can't be moved by literature. Well except some dorks who have worms in their head .

The class started with the intro of the new guy Jungkook.
I swear to God , I will gift a thousand furlongs to him if people stop staring at me as if I'm an Alien . I feel so out of the place every time I get those looks.

The day was boring as usual . I tried to pay attention to the teachers but ... How could I , when everything is so haphazard.

My mind is not at peace and I don't even have someone to talk to. My mom always told me to talk the things out . It makes you relaxed and stronger but now this life is a complete mess.

I don't know what Jennie has been blabbering about but the deep loud voice did bring me out of my bubble .
Taehyung waved us to get over their table . That guy was always so bright. I wish I could be like him .

We took our seats and I was still not focused . I could see Tzuyu changing her demeanor . Of course she won't want me to be there.
Then Taehyung introduced this guy , I was so numb to even notice that we had another guy around.
" Hi jeon "
I saw him blink his eyes multiple time .
What the hell ! He is .... Wow handsome but really big . I mean well built .
His response was short as well but then others started teasing me about my attitude. God at least I'm left with something that originally is mine. But this all will be gone . I can't be like others . I'm just a puppet whose strings are in Park's control.
I know I can't do anything . I'm too weak to do , to fight , to have a normal life.

I'm glad that dork Michael at least allowed me to have a casual school rather than being tutored in that hell.

During the lunch , I tried my best to keep myself from stealing glance at him . To which , Jennie's talks helped a lot. But that guy definitely is really confident. He knows what he has and how other girls are completely up for him . Our eyes met once in a while at the desk. He's really handsome . Big doe eyes , double eyelids, soft silky hair , white smooth skin and the bunny smile. Don't forget how built he is. Is he really 17? Well he is something.

I'm a teen after all , it's normal to have a one second crush on any good-looking guy but why am I so desperate to talk to him , to befriend him. But I know I can't go beyond friendship.

The next classes went by without a budge. I was at my lockers to put my books back when I heard Jennie shouting in excitement.

" Well calm down girl . What about your bff ? You are allowed only if she comes. " Jimin said with a smirk.

" Ohh c'mon , u can't be unfair. It's damn hard . Jan dear , please for me join us this time. I really wanna go . "
She said to me whining like a Kid.

"Where?" I asked
" Well Tae wants to show us this recently opened diner . He claims , it's Fab. Wanna join ?"
Sehun asked.

" Text me the address we'll see u there.
What time?" Tzuyu mentioned.

" Mm after the gym hour I guess. " With that Sehun took Jennie with him .
Then she turned around and said,

"We will head home first . Dad wants to see us."
...,....

Meeting with Dad can never be pleasant.

Tzuyu insisted me to go to the diner with her. I really was not up for it but it will definitely be better than staying home. So I went.

The diner was cozy. Definitely for teens and young adults to hangout.
I have been here in Korea, for four years now , and it's surprising that this part of the city is so much not like other Korean places. People are bold over here.

Entering the diner I had this sudden urge to vomit. It smells just like Dad's mini bar back at the house. Aghhh again there are drunk punks, whose attention was now on Tzuyu's mini skirt.
We spotted Jimin with his 'new girl '. That boy will never change.
Thank God the table for us was at back away from drunkards and it was a bit quite here. But Sehun and Jennie were definitely in mood to rock . They were drinking.!
Well it's not surprising . But still we are only 17. We can have some patience for just a year more.

Again I was feeling out of place.
The hot girls and their plus ones . I could see a lot of English people. It's probably owned by one .

" Taehyung " Tzuyu exclaimed .
He came over ,followed by the new guy. I didn't know he would come.

But I could see how he gained most of the attention in the diner just by striding towards the table .
The black T-shirt hugged his torso at places giving the hint of him being damn musculine . Sleeves dragged up just a little below the elbows, showing off the popping veins on the strong arms. The blue denim jeans, completing the bad boy look . A jacket would have made him look like the man of dreams but he was already not less than that.

They took a seat across us . My eyes couldn't leave his . He knew he had the power and I was struck. He smiled or... smirked.
So did I , only smiled with a nod , to greet the recently arrived ones,then looked away . I definitely am giving him wrong ideas.
They started talking and sooner Jennie and Sehun left for a dance . I could see them tipsy. But when love is in the air , u are not bothered about a shit.
Jimin was nowhere to be seen.
Probably already gone with his girl for... I don't know.

I knew Tzuyu had a thing for Tae but today it was all Jungkook . She was talking to him as if they were always been together.
She offered him a dance but he gently denied saying he was not in mood.

I quitely got up and went at the back side . It was a beautiful place. A deck , few lighting series , wooden stools , and a farm, it's vintage and I love it . It's definitely owned by some English old man . The breeze was soothing ,for spring has just started. Solitude is always so satisfying..

until it turns into loneliness.

A tear slipped down my eye and I let it travel up to my cheek before wiping it off. Crying won't solve my problems . But it's all I can do.
Why the life has to be so vulnerable

.. or it can be better..., maybe I'm not just trying enough.

My thoughts and my solitude or loneliness is the only support of mine .

Or maybe I can let my guards down just for once and trust somebody to share my problems with . Maybe I can get out of this for a little while and live fine,
.. if I try to let the owner of the steps approaching the deck , inn.....

Or maybe not...