sixteen - why don't we go there?

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[i grew up knowing
i was worth nothing to nobody.
i was unwanted unwanted unwanted]

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"What do you have?" John asked. He pulled me closer to him by my bound hands. My body was small, beaten, and freezing cold. Everything hurt. I fought as hard as I could, but I could only do so much. It wasn't enough.

"A six pack. It's not much," The man John was talking to said.

"She's not worth much anyways. Take her, keep her, do whatever you want. She's all yours," John instructed lightly. He pushed me into the other man and let me fall to the ground. I looked up with wide eyes.

This is not the end of me. It can't be.

The other man picked me up by my hair and looked me over. "Young one, isn't she?"

"11 years old," John said. He put the six pack in the trunk he pulled me out of and slammed it, before climbing into the front seat. "Goodbye, Kenni." He slammed the door shut and the man next to me gave me an evil smile. I shrank away from him.

"In you go," The man said with almost a laugh. He pushed my broken, freezing body into the trunk and held the lid open, looking down at me. The gag in my mouth muffled my plea for him to 'please, let me go, I won't tell anyone.'

"We'll have fun, Kenni. Don't you worry your pretty little head about it." The trunk slammed with a deafening-

"McKenna!" My eyes snapped open and I sat up, almost bumping heads with Louis, who was sitting on my bed. His hands found my shoulders and mine snapped over my mouth, muffling a sob. "Woah, hey," He said.

I tried to say something but my throat felt closed. I took a few breaths that were far too frantic and uneasy. My eyes were wide as I looked at him, and his were just was big staring back at me.

"Lou-!" I tried, before it was cut off with a high pitched broken sob. My breathing shuddered and my shoulders shook.

"Don't say anything, love. Just breathe for me," He said softly. My hands balled the sheets instead and I took a big shuttering breath. I'm not there anymore. I am worth more than a six pack of beer.

We stayed like that for a few minutes. Louis didn't make any move to leave, he didn't look like he would rather be anywhere else. He sat with me and watched me pull myself together.

"Louis," I said finally. I unballed the sheet in my hands and wiped my eyes, shaking my head.

"The other boys are recording right now," He said, "It's like 4:00 in the morning."

"Then why are you awake?"

"We've all been switching off, coming back here to check on you. When I came back I heard you, um, so I thought I should wake you up."

"It's not-"

"Don't you dare say 'it's not a big deal', Mickey." Louis said. He took my hands in his and stared me down. I looked away.

"I get nightmares a lot. They aren't a big deal, I swear! You don't need-"

"Don't say 'I don't need to worry' either," Louis said smartly. I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I feel like I've told you multiple times that it's not really something I talk about," I said with almost a laugh. Louis didn't laugh, he just looked at me. I sighed again and tried to think of a way out of it.

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