Unpredictable // Ashton Irwin

Chapter 43.

Courtney’s P.O.V*

My family left just as Braxton turned a week old. Having them around was really nice and then having the extra made the first week with Braxton home easier although now I don’t how I’m going to do this on my own.

The first night with him on my own was hard as I had a difficult time figuring out what he was crying for but I’ve got the cries down now. If he was hungry then it’s a loud wailing sound and if he’s in need of a diaper change then he whimpers a lot.

So whenever he cries at night I try to figure out which it is and calm him down as fast as I can. Tonight on the other hand, he wasn’t calming down. I’ve tried feeding him, changing him, and rocking him to no avail. 

I wandered around the room with tears stinging at my own eyes and Braxton in my arms.  He was screaming his head off and I felt like I was failing.

“Is he okay?” I looked up to the door way, seeing Ashton coming closer to me with a concerned look.

His room was right across from Braxton’s so he probably woke up by the loud cries; making me feel even worse.

“I don’t know what’s wrong. He won’t stop crying.” Ashton paused in front of me, opening out his arms.

“May I?” I looked at his hands for a second before giving in and passing him over. I watched as he cradled him against his chest.

“Hey little man, what’s wrong?” He said softly to him as he rocked him back and forth. The shock feeling fell over me as Braxton’s cries went silent almost immediately after being in Ashton’s arms. My heart broke and the tears started again as I realized that in what was seconds Ashton got him to stop crying when I couldn’t even do it and I was his mother.

I backed out of the room and slumped down on the floor. My arms wrapped around my knees and I let the tears fall.

Did this mean I was bad mother because I couldn’t do what Ashton had done? What kind of mother couldn’t get her own child to calm down but someone who has barely even held him could do it in seconds.

I stood up quickly, not bothering to wipe my eyes as I heard Ashton’s footsteps coming to the door.

“He’s back down.” He said softly as to not wake Braxton up again.  I kept my face looking down the hall as I answered.

“Thanks Ashton.” I told him. It sounded like he was going to say something but before he could I turned and went back to my room, closing the door and leaning my head against it. His footsteps happened seconds later and soon his door shut. 

Once he shut his door I went and sat on my bed. That night I didn’t get much sleep and it wasn’t because of Braxton waking up every two hours either.

Ashton’s P.O.V*

The truth of the matter was that I was guilty. My shoulders were heavy as I realized what I was missing out on. As the days passed and I spent more time with Braxton I figured out that I loved him just as much as I loved his mother.

The only problem was that since I have left them- or well Courtney while she was still pregnant- I knew that I didn’t stand a chance of getting either of them back.

“Ashton come on, it’s almost seven, we have to go!” Michael banged on my bedroom door. I tied the red cloth mask around my head and headed out the door.

Michael stood in front of my door, getting ready to knock again.

“Good, you’re ready.” He grabbed my arm, pulling me out of the room and into the living room. I looked around the room seeing that Calum was standing beside Courtney as they were in the middle of the room trying to get Braxton’s shoes on him.