Unpredictable // Ashton Irwin

Chapter 44.

Courtney’s P.O.V*

The month of November had gone by with the boys leaving to go to the states. Jess Braxton and I had went home at the same time for Thanksgiving. It was the first time Braxton was coming here and so far he loves it.

I took him to the library and let him visit with Sharon and Geraldine for a while. It was weird having all the people I used to see on a daily basis come up to me and know who Braxton was without me even saying anything about his birth or me even being pregnant.

I can thank the media for that one.

After Braxton was passed around from Sharon to everyone else in the library I took him to semi meet his grandmother. That was a bit hard for me.

Whenever I thought about having children I always figured I would have been married and in a loving relationship. Now I’m twenty with a one month old baby, single, and unsure if anyone really loves me.

My mom had told me once that I should be in a stable relationship before having children but like many other times, I didn’t listen to her.

I wish she was around. It’s hard not having her here with me to help me and guide me through everything. I’m doing this totally blind on if I’m right or wrong.

We had only spent a few minutes there before I rushed to get away from it. I hadn’t a clue where I was going but I just drove around. Being back here was causing my mood to go south.  When I did pull over I was on the back road, surrounded by houses that I hadn’t a clue who owned. I didn’t even know if I was actually in my hometown or not anymore.

I loved that Braxton was getting to meet everyone here but most of the people who knew me would see me and I could see the pity in their eyes. I was the one who left this town to travel around the world with a man who eventually would break up with me because I was pregnant with my ex’s baby. I felt like the disappointment to everyone.

The first tear fell down my face then another before I was full on crying. My head rested against the steering wheel as I didn’t even bother to wipe my eyes. What was the use? No one sees them anyway.

I sat there for a few minutes, mind blank and eyes wet before my phone rang. I glanced at the screen, seeing Jessica’s name. I cleared my throat so my voice didn’t sound so hoarse then answered.

“Yeah?” It didn’t help, my voice still cracked as I answered.

“Hey, you alright?” Jess asked.

“ Yeah, of course, just a sore throat. What’d you need?” I lied. She bought it, or at least she didn’t question me on my crackly voice anymore.

“Oh, well your dad’s wondering when you’re coming home. He says the roads were getting worse and he didn’t want you on them with Braxton.”

I had fought the urge to be rude about my dad and him telling me what to do and just went ahead and lied some more.

“I’m on my way now, I just had to stop to feed Braxton.” Lying was coming easier now, I thought as I looked out the window to see the snow had picked up. I’ve done so much lying this month but no one seemed to notice it.

“Okay, I guess I’ll see you two soon then.”  I hung out and tossed my phone on the seat beside me, reading to head back to my dad’s house; or well my dad and Anne’s house.

It was weird, Jessica’s mom had moved in with my dad a few weeks ago and now the house felt a bit like it had before my mom died.

I wiped away at my face before putting the car into drive and heading back home.