"Dude we need you"
"What's so more important?"
"It's our first game"
Getting questions left and right, about why I'm not playing in our first game. Simply because I won't be there, it's the day of my sisters graduation and I haven't seen her in almost 3 months. Sometimes we talk on the phone when she's allowed but we don't take too much time because she also has to call Mom and dad. This is also very important, she's my sister.
"I know I don't share a lot about my life, but I'll let you know this. My sister is graduating out of boot camp, in the Marines.. the same day of the game"
Everyone looks around, starting to understand why I'd prefer my sister over it. Except for one girl, that I knew was totally against it. She's so religious, I know she doesn't like me because of my sexuality. She so against the military simply because thall shall not kill. I wish I could say.. I get it? But it's also necessary? Like yeah.. War can be a necessary evil. Meaning obviously taking someone's life, can definitely affect you, and if you're religious it makes you question. If we talk about World War II, it was necessary wasn't it? To fight in the war to stop the genocide of thousands of people simply because a group of people felt they were superior then others. If it weren't for the men who fought, would we be talking German right now?
"We understand now, we all can say we'd do the same" my captain tells me, and someone snickers within the team. They keep quiet because we know who it is, and we don't want to get into anything. Since practice was over, I was drained I didn't take a shower in the locker room. I change out of my training gear, and went to my dorm. Lauren had taken a shower at the Locker room, so when we got there. I had to perform my little physical therapy on my thigh. Still sweaty and gross, I gave up. I grabbed my clothes and went to our dorm floor showers.
Drying my hair with towel as I walk back to my dorm, and my phone vibrates in my sweats. I take it out to see the nonifacation I received.
Sam: I miss you, I haven't made any friends.. and I feel lonely. How's it going, I feel like we haven't talked in months.
I chuckle lightly because we literally talked yesterday for 2 hours. Before I'm able to reply, another message from her goes through.
Sam: Did you replace me? 😕😯
Me: I could never, you are forever a part of me.
I know Sam is going through depression right now. She hasn't mentioned it but I know the signs, it makes things even more complex because she's on the other side of the country. Being the only child of some what conservative parents, can be tough. Her parents aren't bad or anything but they just don't understand what anxiety or depression could be? They'd tell her she has such a good life, why would she be sad? But it goes deeper then that, and some people don't understand that.
Sam: Soccers been great, but I'm scared to talk to the girls. Like what if they don't like me, all because I'm too cheery or.. what if I make some joke and they get offended. What if they think I'm not good
Ding, Anxiety.
Me: I love you Sam, and that may not be much for you but I want you know that I don't love you because you're just my bestfriend. I love you because you are always true to yourself, and you should never stop being who you are just because someone doesn't like you. You aren't going to please everyone, but know that you got me.. and 23 othe girls who grew so fond of you. Simply because of who you are, you leave an imprint, and if they start something with you.. tell them you got a kick ass best friend, who would fly over there and beat them with my leg.
