New Angel | N.H.

Chapter one.

I've never thought about what I would do if I was stuck at home. The kind of stuck where you're literally not allowed to leave. I'm still wrapping my head around this whole pandemic, quarantine thing. I think most people are.

My school shut down shortly after my spring break. There I was, back home from college. Only a weeks worth of clothes. Me and my laptop against the world. I moved out of my dorm two weeks after I got back. Had I known my last night would be my last night I really would've made the most of it.

I think the best part about this situation is the time I've got to just come up with ideas. Ideas for paintings, videos I'll never make and new outfits to wear when this is all over. Wonder when that will be.

Believe it or not I used to do the whole YouTube thing when I was younger. Imagine me, 10 years old, spending a good 10 hours recording a stop motion video with my dolls. Production quality was pretty good for what I was working with, a nice, crisp iPhone 4. Truly the epitome of good videography. Now I'm 21 and I just have a long running list in my notes of videos I would love to make but probably won't ever actually go through with. I like to think I come up with some pretty good stuff, but of course I can't share that. Just in case I decide to finally get back into it.

These days I get up around 10, do class work until about 2 and then sit in my room either playing the sims 4 or GTA V. Depends on my mood, but it's usually a GTA kinda day around here.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about starting to make videos again. Maybe it's the isolation getting to me, or being home with my family all day. All I know is that I miss it. As weird as it is to say I miss sitting in my room talking to a camera, I miss it. I miss editing a video and getting so tired of hearing myself speak that I nearly scrap the whole thing. It makes me think of the super awkward video I once made about what I would say to Niall Horan if I ever made him. Don't think that would ever made it past the editing process but if it did I'm terribly sorry to anyone who's watched it. My middle school self had no fear of future embarrassment and a bad habit of forgetting passwords, so if it's there it's not coming down anytime soon.

Back to that conversation though. Since I've got the time let's reminisce how 21 year old me would have that conversation. First I would be the classic Wattpad girl, or maybe some Gucci model. Long hair that I style into perfect beach waves everyday. The oversized sweater and leggings. Probably white Converse or Vans. When I wear this outfit in real life I just look like I rolled out of bed 20 minutes before lecture. Not in this day dream though, I look like all the girls who photoshop themselves into a new person on Instagram. Back to the good stuff. Here's how things would go down. We'd bump into each other at some bar, I guess were in London cause he's certainly not hanging out anywhere in my city. In this situation I'm dressed for the occasion, I wouldn't go to a bar in a sweater and leggings. But then again knowing myself I wouldn't put it past me. Today I'm wearing ripped jeans and a cute top. A nice casual bar outfit, nothing too crazy. I'm there with my friends just catching up over a drink. I catch a guy in the corner of my eye in a very nice outfit. Laughing way too loud and wearing a very well out together outfit. Maybe a little too put together for the setting but who doesn't love a guy with good taste in clothing. Let's be real, guys can't wear nike clothes and tennis shoes to everything for their whole lives. Forever waiting for guys my age to get the hint. Being the independent woman I am I decide to head over to his table. Knowing nothing about what he looks like but taking the chance for the sake of new connections and possible funny memories. I tap his shoulder and he turn around very confused. Now I realize that I must keep my cool. Of all the bars, all the shoulders, it's Niall Horan who I've just stumbled up to and tapped on the shoulder. I'm baffled, how could I not put it all together? This is the laugh I've been hearing for years. The hair I know all too well, the outfit that I've probably already seen if I'm being honest. Of course I keep my cool, keeping a straight face to appear unfazed by who he is. I introduce myself.