Pieces Falling into Place -S.B

Ch.40 Doubt

Breath fills my lungs as I pried my eyes open. There was something warm on my hand again, but it was barely touching mine. It was dark and I could hear the owls outside. I yearned for fresh air, I felt claustrophobic. I remember where I am and try to move my head to look around as best as I could in the dark room. Pain soared through me and I growled, still not giving up on trying to move. I looked down at the dark figure which was slouched, fast asleep on a chair.

Sirius Black, ladies and gentleman; in all his glory. 

I hoped I hadn't woken up because I didn't think I was ready for this conversation. Not now. In the middle of the night, in a hospital. 

What am I going to to tell him? Hey Sirius, yeah my twit of a brother cursed my in a dungeon and I came out and saw you kissing someone and I can't trust you anymore.

I finally found what I was looking for: the window behind my bed was open only a nudge and I might be able to open it further. I looked at Sirius again and bit my lip, hoping he wouldn't wake as I reached, in a lot of pain may I add, my arm towards the window. I stretched my arm and could nearly reach the tip when I felt another hand on mine. I looked up. Up into the chestnut orbs I fell in love with. "Let me do that." he whispered and I let out a breath, mainly because my arm was soaring with pain and my pride was not hurting as much as my body. I let go and winced, feeling Sirius at my side immediately. His hand was on my back and my arm, pushing me down carefully. I studied his face as I came to rest on my bed again. He looked bad. Proper bad to say the least. His eyes had dark circles under them and his skin looked meek. He had a worried look on his face and he seemed..sad. "How come we always end up in a hospital?" he chuckled and it made me smile. " I really don't know." I responded "It's getting boring, don't you think." he chuckled again with a sadness in his eyes "Well something always happens to me-" "Because I'm not there to fight with you and protect-" this made a bit of anger boil up in me.

I don't need that.

My voice became stronger as I put my hand up "You don't need to protect me, I'm perfectly-" "-capable of doing that myself, I know, but I feel terrible for never being there. You don't know how it feels to see my girlfriend stumble around the corridors and then faint. You were cursed, poisoned." his eyes were swelling up with tears as he let go of my hand and put them on his mouth. "O god, how am I ever going to forgive myself." I put my hand on his and looked at him reassuringly. " It's someones fault, but definitely not yours. They tricked me." "And your were, again, nearly dead, but oh no I thought your were just going out with Mary, stupid, stupid me-" "Hey, hey, it is not.your.fault. never has been, never was." 

A few minutes passed with Sirius with his head on his hands. He shifted and slowly looked up at me. Even in the calm and dark atmosphere, I could see his brown eyes filled with tears in the moonlight. Here was a broken man.  "I've lost my family, your guys -you- are my family now...you can't ...don't...leave me..ever...promise....I can't" I raise my hand to his cheek. "Do you want me to tell you, what happened?" His eyes pierced through me and I felt all his love for me at once. It was nearly too much. he was silent. The fresh air brought life into me. 

"Please."

I took a deep breath and tried to remember "I didn't tell you about the adventure Mary was taking me on." Sirius furrowed his brows. "No." I came to realise something. "You all didn't know anything, did you?" "No, we just found you in the corridor..." I looked to the ceiling.

This is going to be a long story.

I inhaled. "Yesterday afternoon, Mary asked me to come along for an adventure, and you guys weren't around, and I said yes. She'd talked about it before, and every time she talked about it, she got...like... drowsy. She grabbed my hand and dragged me through half the castle. I didn't think much of her strange behaviour, you know how she can be. Anyway, she dragged me through corridors and halls until we were in the dungeons." Sirius raised his brow. I continued "She didn't let go of my wrist and we went further into the dungeons and...soon it was dark, except for a few candles which marked the way. It was cold and.." I swallowed, summoning up the courage to keep speaking, Sirius rubbing the back of my hand soothingly. "The only thing I remember is that the walls.. they were speaking.. in Parseltongue." Sirius looked shocked "Oh good god." he whispered and I held back tears. Then we entered some kind of room and my brother was-" "He was there?" Sirius asked, surprised. "He was, and he... he used some sort of magic and.." I stared at the bed frame, anything, to get me to remember and not break down."he threw me against the wall and there was blood.

This is too much, I can't-

"Shh, it's alright." Sirius whispered and I took a deep breath. "Do you want to stop-" "No lets keep going. I need you to know. He threw me against the wall and asked me to... kill McGonagall...""Oh no." "Kill McGonagall and then he cursed me and I was by the door and someone whispered something into my ear and- I got out. I can't remember what happened to Mary or how I got out, but I did. My vision was blurry and I was constantly about to vomit. I ran along the corridors and they looked... old and damp, forgotten. I knew I had to make it the common room, I could get help there. Because I encountered no one. Until.." I looked up. "Until?.." Sirius asked and I gulped. "Um, until I got to the common room and saw too people in corridor next to the art. I was so happy to see someone, anyone." tears welled up in my eyes again. "I got closer and saw you... and someone, I don't know who." Sirius looked curious and surprised. "The two of you were.. pressed up against each other, kissing the hell out of each other.." I laughed to cover up the tears. "And then, I went up to you and shoved you, screaming at you, asking how you could ever do such a thing." I looked to the ceiling and sniffed. "Everything was hurting and I felt so dizzy...I-" Sirius put a hand on my cheek, collecting the tears which fell down. "Hey, hey, it's alright now, you're safe, what you saw wasn't true. It never could be. I love you. But you.." he looked at me pityingly and sad. He took his hand off my cheek and put both his hands on his mouth. "You in that godawful place with that basta-" he sniffed and looked at me sincerely, vulnerable. "I'm never going to be able to forgive myself." he shook his head. "I wasn't there to-". Now I was the one to put a hand on his cheek "It's not your fault. It's my brothers, it'll never be yours." I ran my thumb across his cheek and he turned his head to kiss the palm of my cheek. I sighed and looked down, a self pitying chuckle escaping my throat. I looked up into his brown orbs. "When I saw that... it was horrible, and when I woke up earlier I couldn't really.." I looked down and swallowed hard. "...couldn't really look you in the eye." I now looked at him and there was surprise and understanding in his eyes. "That's why... it was so weird... I felt like there was something going on.. but I didn't want to pressure you. To be honest, I would have probably reacted the same." he chuckled and looked at my hand. He kissed it and looked up, tears in his eyes. The owls continued hooting outside. He opened his mouth to speak but I cut in "I love you.". He let out a breath and I did too. "Thank bloody goodness, I love you too. So much. You are the most wonderful thing to ever have walking into my life and-" "Kiss me to put an end to this soppiness." I interrupted him and as quick as lightning he leaned over and put his hand on my cheek. My eyes fluttered closed and his lips met mine in a gentle kiss. I felt all his love, it was all there. We pulled back and his face was still hovering over mine. He laughed quietly and shook his head, averting his gaze. "Jesus woman, you're going be the death of me." "But wouldn't that be a spectacular way to go, I mean, looking at all this" I goggled and waved my hand at me in the hospital bed. "I would actually like to go when I'm standing in front of a mirror-" "Your are such an arse, good thing you're mildly cute.". He pulled back and looked at me in mock shock, pretending to be offended. "Excuse me, I've never met anyone cuter than me, I am the cutest of them all, at the top of the hill-" "Sure you are, now kiss me and make it better." I smiled up at him, full of adoration. He leaned down again and grinned "Anytime." "So cocky-" I was cut off by a breathtaking kiss which lasted longer that the first one.

How could I ever have mistrusted him?

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Pretty soppy but I hope ya liked it.