The Secretly Submissive type (Ohshc)

Chapter Forty Three: Realisation

Kaito Pov

It took us a while to get ready as every movement that I made was so clumsy because well... I wasn't expecting Kyoya to kiss me or to act in that way to me at all. I have been taught that you should never want something from someone else. And that includes affection.

I couldn't believe that I had let Kyoya see me like that. And... I don't know I just can't handle this. My brain is just to muddled; I must try to compose myself.

Yet every time I meet Kyoya's eyes now I can't hold up that composure. It is embarrassing.

So as Kyoya and me parts ways he grabbed my hand and gave it a slight squeeze before walking away making me blush so much. Yet as I walked into class, I managed to get the calm exterior that I really wanted to have.

And once again taking note of me and Haruhi being the only ones in the classroom. I was greeted very nicely by her like normal which consisted of a simple nod towards me. So, I took my usual seat next to her although the twins have definitely been trying to get it so that one can sit on either side of me.

But I enjoy sitting next to Haruhi as she has a slight calmness to her slightly similar to Kyoya but at the same time she seems more deadpanned than Kyoya as she has a more realistic view on things. It is also clear to me that she has a gentleness to her which I guess makes her more enjoyable to be around in times like these.

Because unfortunately I still haven't gotten over what happened this morning, I was not expecting anything off the sort from Kyoya it was kind of strange. I don't really know how to describe what happened. I am very conflicted and confused it is extremely troubling overall.

Yet to my surprise a hand found its way onto my shoulder, which was honestly so surprising. I turned to Haruhi not expecting to see such a worried expression on her face and I couldn't help but feel anxiety begin to boil back-up within me. She kept looking at me for a moment almost like she was trying to find something, yet it appeared that she might not have found it.

As she sighed and started shaking her head slightly before turning to me and quiet harshly for Haruhi said "What is wrong Kaito, I can tell something is wrong so don't lie to me" I was shocked at what she said. It was certainly something that I should have suspected from Haruhi, but it appeared that I have been internally forgetting about those around me due to my own problems.

But when I realised that I was staring at Haruhi not giving her an answer and it looked like she was getting more and more irritated as the time went on. So, I quickly tried to rack my brains for something smart to say to distract her from the matter but since this morning my brain has been scrambled and before I knew it I was blurting out "Kyoya kissed me."

I quickly covered up my mouth after I spoke lowering my head as I felt my cheeks go bright red which is definitely very obvious despite the hood covering my face. She looked surprised for a moment before going totally still making me fidget quiet uncomfortably at the information I had just shared.

Since you know you are not supposed to share that sort of information with others. Yet Haruhi was full of surprises for me today as she grabbed my hand this time. I quickly looked at her shocked only to hear "Is that a bad thing for you Kaito?" I never had really considered whether it was a good or bad thing until now, so her words hit me.

"Doesn't it mean that he like you Kaito, unless that isn't what you wanted to happen?" I shook my head at her words almost instantly, it was really automatic like I knew the answer without thinking of it. "I want Kyoya to like me but... I don't know what... what to think... or... um... I don't know" I knew what I wanted to say but I have no clue how to explain it, so my sentences were broken and barely made any sense whatsoever.

Haruhi nodded smiling at me. Sending me into a further case of confusion, it wasn't fun by any means. "Did you enjoy it Kaito?" she asked softly and quietly I guess because it isn't something that you would normally ask out loud.

I thought for a moment recalling how I enjoyed the warmth and that fuzzy feeling that I had in that moment and nodded in response to Haruhi which made her smile grow larger, so I guess that my answer wasn't bad then.

"Then it isn't bad that he kissed you Kaito try to not worry to much Kyoya is smart he wouldn't do anything inappropriate. I sat back in my chair my head down and I was playing with my fingers still thinking about what Haruhi said. I guess she is right, I trust her judgement so I guess it would make sense that she is right. So I will try to do what she has said and attempt to keep myself worry away for now.