"You're actually upset right now? Look at everything the world has given you, Luke."
"And that's great, but I'd rather have you."
• the story before "count on me" by sircalyum • book 1
// smut included //
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TUESDAY NIGHT. For the first time in a year, I worked from home. I woke up feeling poorly and figured that everyone took a sick day from time to time, so what should keep me from having at least one?
I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I was starting to think that subconsciously I had made the decision to stay home in hopes to also avoid Luke for at least one more day. My anxiety had gotten the best of me, and I couldn't fathom seeing him after our fight the day before. I really wasn't sure how I thought things would turn out and I was especially unsure of how I wanted things to turn out.
It was already about ten o'clock and I was starting to think about going to bed. Madalyn had taken a nap around six and had yet to emerge from her room, so I was thinking she was either about to have the best night's sleep ever or she would end up waking up in the middle of the night and be forced to stay awake until the morning. Either way, I had no reason to stay up any longer, even though I felt like talking things out with someone.
I had finally decided I should try to get to sleep and reached my hand toward the coffee table, in search of the remote. However, the buzzing of my phone sparked my interest and stopped me from doing so. I grabbed my phone and looked down at the screen. Immediately my heart began to race; Luke had texted me.
I rolled my eyes and tossed my phone to the side, not wanting to deal with him this late. Luke was not the person I wanted to talk about things with. I successfully grabbed the television remote and turned off the tv before grabbing my phone and making my way to my room. Just as I turned the lights off while I was leaving the living room, my phone buzzed again and I glanced down to see another text from Luke.
I didn't even bother to read what his texts said—I locked my phone and kept walking. I plugged my phone up before leaving my room and heading toward the bathroom, to wash my face.
Just as I had brought the towel to my face, after rinsing off my cleanser, I heard my phone begin to ring from my bedroom. My eyes rolled, but I found myself hurrying to finish up in the bathroom before rushing to my room and grabbing my phone.
"Hello," I answered flatly as I brought the phone up to my ear.
"Josie," Luke let out a sigh of relief and I breathed in deeply as I waited for him to say something else. "I know you might not want to hear it, but could I please apologize for yesterday? And this past weekend?"
"Sure," I said, finding myself worthy of an apology.
"Not texting you this past weekend was sucky of me—I knew that it would probably make you upset, and I'm sorry for doing it anyways. I was honestly having a bad weekend and I barely spoke to anyone, but I know that's not a good excuse. If I could take it back and do it over again, I would have reached out and let you know that I was going to take the weekend for myself. I didn't act very considerately and that's what I want to apologize for. I also take back all the dumb shit I said yesterday. I thought the tweet you sent me was worth a really good response... but I couldn't think of how to respond and it made me feel insecure. I didn't want to say something stupid that would've ended the conversation because I really enjoy talking to you, Josie. I genuinely get so happy each time you text me because I simply want to be talking to you all the time."
