In the early morning sun a boy named yoon jeonghan walked his way over the coast line, letting the upcoming sun draw an orange glow over his face. The tears that fell down his cheeks disappeared in the sand the moment they touched the ground underneath him and the sound of his silent sobs was the only thing that filled the empty beach this early at morning. Beside the sound of the water gently crashing on the land there was nothing else to be heard.
It was only one month later. One month of tragedy after his father left him and his mother behind in the house near the sea. The moment he told them he was leaving Jeonghan broke down. He never expected anything like a divorce between his parents to happen. And what made it only worse was the fact that his mother already knew it several months before they told it anyone else. Only because Jeonghan had a few important tests upcoming and they weren't sure if he would make it if they told him earlier.
What, in the end, was a good decision after all. Because Jeonghan indeed couldn't make it if his parents told him before. Because now, one month later, he was about to get kicked off his school. His grades only went downhill on a faster pace day by day and the teachers already told him, he wouldn't make it.
But that didn't change the fact that he felt horrible about his parents hiding it from him ever since January until May. He only had two more months to go in school and everyone knew, he wasn't going to make it. The problems at home took over anything and most of all his motivation in school.
If there only was someone to save me.
He thought to himself. Letting the gentle wind play with his hair, messing it up a little. This time of the day was one of those moments Jeonghan snuck out of the house. He would go to the beach, his favorite place to take a long walk while he watched the sun coming up. Or later at night, when the sun was already completely set and the bright stars came out. Moments like these were magical and drowned the pain he was feeling for a moment. It would bring him to his own little world where no one could hurt him no more. A world where his problems were just an illusion.
The sand slid in between his toes every time he made another step further away from reality. He held his shoes in his right hand while he slid his left hand trough his long brown reddish hair every now and then. Although he didn't care how messy it looked after all. One of the things that changed drastically. Jeonghan always worried about how he looked, his outfit, his hair, even his shoes. But now, he couldn't care any less if he walked around school in a t-shirt he wore 5 days in a row. It just didn't matter to him any more.
One of the only things that mattered to him were his daily walks over the beach. Staring over the steady water brought him at ease. The waves occasionally slowly crashing on the sand as it was only ebb in the early morning. He took his phone from his pocket and checked the time. 7 am. In one hour his first class would start, so he turned around. Starting on his way back home again.
Can i even call it a home? Why doesn't it feel like one?
Jeonghan needed a home. A place where he wanted to feel safe, loved and wanted. Where someone caught him the moment he went there.
Why did you have to leave?
Jeonghan never had the best relationship with his dad and he was fully aware of that. No, his dad didn't abuse him and he still loved him as his dad. But he would always question himself if his dad loved him too. Especially after he left with the words: 'Because I don't feel happy here anymore.'
His mother told him not to throw the blame on himself, because it was something between them. adult business. Something he shouldn't get himself in between of. But he couldn't help but to feel miserable about his decision. Throwing the blame on himself anyway, no matter how much his mother told him not to.
He knew his friends would be ready to help him whenever he would ask, but on the other hand he didn't want them to pity him for it. So he locked it up, shutting himself off from the world. Intentionally forgetting about school work, to stay in bed and listen to music or to go to the beach. Making long walks to clear the mess inside his head. Sneaking out at 2 am to go to the 24/7 convenient store five minutes away from his house. Spending his night walking through the streets, not caring about how tired he would be the next day at school.
To Jeonghan it seemed like the end.
The world seemed to end right in front of his eyes.
But it wasn't. Because he didn't know yet there was a big change going to take place in his life. Something that would bring the old Yoon Jeonghan back to life again. Or better said, someone.
