BREAK MY HEART | alejandro rosario

35

CHAPTER 35
NARRATIVE

The decision was simple, I wasn't just going to stay here and sit around knowing I have less and less time with my dad. The problem is, how am I supposed to tell my friends?

This whole situation just sucks, I hate long distance relationships, I'll have no friends in France, and my dad is supposedly on the verge of death.

Or course I can't just fall off the face of the Earth and not tell my friends, even though I do wonder if they'll even notice.

Today I was going over to talk to Alejandro about this shit and possibly break up with him. I don't know how long I'm going to be in France for, and it'll probably just be for the better.

I knock on his front door and his little brother lets me in, telling me Alejandro is in the shower right now. I sit down on the couch and wait, I don't know how some people can just walk right into someone else's room that's lowkey awkward.

I hear Alejandro finally come downstairs while he says, "hey, what up? Everything good?"

"Yes and no." I chuckle. I swear every time something good happens bad things come with it. Like god hates me that much or some?

"What is that supposed to mean?" Alejandro asks sitting down next to me on the couch.

"Well my dad dropped some news on me. I need to go back to France with him, and I don't know when I'll be back. You and me both know how I feel about long distance relationships and I'm just kind of stuck trying to decide what to do." I explain with a shrug.

We both go silent for a few seconds while the uncomfortable, sad, heartbroken mood in the room grew. I know I have to break up with him to follow my morals but I don't want to have to regret it.

"So you're telling me you need a break while you're over there? I promise what happened last time won't happen again." He states looking at me all confused and I guess trying to save the relationship or some.

"It's not about her, I just don't know what I want to do. I don't like long distance, but I like you a lot. And I didn't go through all of this to do it again when I come back." I continue as I try explaining both sides.

"I guess if you want to like take a break it's cool, and hopefully when you get back we still feel the same. But if we don't it's on you." Alejandro says shrugging seeming fine but the last comment was an attack.

"We can spend time together until I leave on Friday though." I state before finishing it saying, "but Thursday we should hangout with the whole gang so I could say goodbye."

———

It's my last day in Jersey and I'm a little emotional. I had hung out with the gang and everyone yesterday, we just chilled and shit for a few hours.

My mom would be taking my dad and I to the airport in about 30 minutes. Of course I'm spending the last couple of minutes with Alejandro, I got to spend all last night with my family.

Alejandro and I both know we are like broken up but for some reason we are still acting like we are still together. I think maybe it's because we both feel the same way about each other still. The only reason the break up is happening is because I'm not going to break my belief.

"I don't want to go." I whine as Alejandro and I cuddle on my bed. There is going to be so much to miss here, and there is a possibility I could be home within a few weeks or a couple of years.

"I know it's going to be tough but it's definitely needed, and we can FaceTime or call every day." Alejandro suggests with a shrug.

It's nice just laying in bed with him, I'm going to miss our cute moments. I smile to myself and close my eyes trying not cry.

"It's like I want come back fast but I also want to stay forever." I sigh, not knowing what the next couple of weeks or months would be like.

"So are you going to public school there or just getting homeschooled?" Alejandro asks as he changes the subject so neither of us cry.

"My dad doesn't want to home school me, so I'm going to school with my cousin. I'm not ready to make new friends all over again and what if they're fake as fuck to get clout off of me?" I answer, nervous to make new friends.

"At least you have your cousin, his friends will be your friends." Alejandro says with a shrug and goes to say something else but doesn't.

"Time to fail the last quarter of the year." I chuckle sarcastically as I sit up and check if I have everything I want.

"Monae! It's time to go." My mom yells from downstairs, of course not excited to spend a car ride with my father.

Alejandro helps me carry my bags down, I only was bringing a few because I'd of course be coming back and I'm not about to pay for all those bags. I tried holding back tears but it didn't work and one slips out but I quickly swipe it away.

"We are all going to miss you." My brother Jeremiah states, walking over to bring me into a hug before continuing with a joke, "I'm turning your room into my second bedroom."

My step bothers and I are pretty close, and when they first lived with us in Florida I let Jeremiah hangout with my friends. Then my old best friend developed a crush on him and he rejected her, the drama that caused.

"Yeah I'm not going to miss you." Semaj jokes, hugging me as well. While my mom and step dad look at him funny because they don't have our humor.

I do one of those awkward sad smiles as I look around at the house and my family. Alejandro comes back into the house after putting my things in the car for me. I embrace him in a tight hug as my mom goes to wait for me in the car.

"Is it bad that I'm going to miss you the most?" I ask him quietly with a small chuckle as we say our final goodbyes.

"No I think it's cute, and of course I'll miss you too but don't be worried about me." Alejandro replies, walking me out the door and I couldn't help but cry a little.

SAHAR'S CORNER
so I rewrote the second half like three times, this time obviously is the best because y'all are reading it. Anyways the book is coming to an end soon but not that soon.

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