Treatment (BxB) Completed

Prologue

PROLOGUE

Have you ever feel so alone in a crowded place like Earth?

Have you ever feel so powerful yet helpless inside?

Because I do.

For how many years, I've been feeling like that.

I've been living like that.

"I am on my way." Ibinaba ko ang tawag at ibinalik ang telepeno sa aking bulsa. I fixed my necktie before stepping out my car. Nilakad ko ang distansya mula sa pribado kong parking lot papunta sa elevator.

It's not just an elevator.

It's my elevator.

I personally requested it for myself. Walang sino man ang pwedeng gumamit nito kung hindi ay ako lang.

A way to avoid people.

Pinindot ko ang floor papunta sa opisina ko. Ang elevator na ito ay diretso sa loob mismo ng aking opisina. The elevator made a 'ting' sound before it opened. Lumabas ako mula rito at sinalubong nang napakatahimik na kwarto.

Naglakad ako papunta sa table ko at umupo sa swivel chair. Kinuha ko ang telepono sa gilid ng aking mesa at tinawagan ang sekretarya ko.

"Let him in," I said and immediately dropped the call.

I took a deep breath and reached for the water stored in a bottle. Uminom ako mula rito at pinakalma ang sarili. I looked down and closed my eyes. Pinapakinggan ko ang dahan-dahan kong paghinga. I controlled my breathing and stopped when someone knocks from the door.

Nanatili ako sa ganoong posisyon at pinakinggan ang yabag ng sapatos ng taong pumasok.

"Good mor----

"Stop."

Naglikha ng huling ingay ang pagtapak ng kanyang sapatos. Binalot ang opisina ng katahimikan na pati ang pagkabog ng dibdib ko ay naririnig ko. I opened my eyes and swallowed hard. Iniangat ko ang aking paningin at tiningnan ang taong nakatayo malayo sa akin.

I looked at him but immediately looked away.

"Don't cross the line," I said. Ilang dangkal lang ang layo nito mula sa pulang linya na nasa sahig ng opisina ko. Katabi niya ay ang table na walang kalaman-laman. It's an empty table that's been there for how many years already.

"Put the folder on the table and you may leave," I ordered.

"Ms. Prima's sorry for the inconvenience," sabi nito.

Inikot ko ang upuan at ngayon ay nakatalikod na ako sa kanya. I tried relaxing myself by looking at the sky outside since my office's located at the top floor of my building.

"I'll get going."

Fuck. I am sweating just by hearing his voice.

Mariin akong napapikit nang paulit-ulit kong naririnig ang boses niya. My breathing's getting heavy and my forehead's sweating cold.

"S-Shit."

Inikot ko ang upuan at humarap sa table ko. Nanginginig na binuksan ko ang drawer sa table ko at kinapa ang bote ng gamot.

My hands are shaking habang kumukuha ng gamot. Some pills even dropped on the floor that I ignored picking it up.

I'll get going.

"Fuck!"

Uminom ako ng tubig at sumandal sa upuan ko. I am catching my breath. I controlled my breathing as I started counting on my mind.

One...

Two...

Three...

I exahaled loudly as my heart beats back on its normal state. I swallowed hard before leaning my head on the back of my chair.

I stared at the ceiling blankly.

A question flashed back on my mind.

"You won't get over this if you won't tell what happened."

I never wanted this.

It is not my doing.

It is not even my fault.

I wanted to get over this but I can't.

I can't tell my story. My past. That night.

Ikinakahiya ko ang nangyari sa'kin. I was helpless and it made me more helpless right until now.

I feel like shit.

I am Jacques Yvan Allejos...

and I am...

afraid of men.

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@HenryLauv